peace_inthe_violence | For transfuge

peace_inthe_violence

[Yep, still empty.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

peace_inthe_violence

I know.

[His voice was small and he brought up his other knee so that he could hide his face into them properly. Joe was moving to Paris for them. Sure, the art and the history here was amazing and the opportunities for him would be endless...but he could have had the same in California. Or Madrid. Or countless other places, but he'd chosen Paris for them.

He should have felt guilty, being so wishy washy with these two beautiful men. He should feel like he was forcing them to accommodate him and his inability to make a decision on his own.

Instead, all he felt was pleased that these men would rearrange everything for him.

Heaven help him.]

I love you...

From:

transfuge

I love you too, Nicky.

[ Booker got up, went over to him, and wrapped his arms around him. He hugged him tightly resting his temple against Nicky's. ]

And I promise we will still love you even if you choose to be a priest, okay? I mean, we still love Andy and she's Andy.

[ He was trying to lighten the mood a little. He hadn't meant to make it so tense by talking about this. ]

And if you want to talk about it some more we can go grab food and call Joe and talk to him too about all of this.

From:

peace_inthe_violence

[Booker came over and he wanted to kiss him. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and pull him down onto the bed so he could rest their foreheads together and block out the rest of the world. Just hold him and call Joe and listen to their voices wash over his ears and the turmoil in his head until things finally settled.

But kissing Booker would be cruel. For both of them.

Instead, he hugged his knees and rocked forward to lean against the touch.]

I love them, too, but not the same as I love you and Joe. Close, but....

[He shrugged. Over the course of his time with his friends, he'd come to the conclusion that he was very, very gay. That didn't stop him from kissing the girls or from letting Andy lick her way into his mouth, though.

He was a greedy, greedy man.]

Yeah. Food and calling Joe sounds amazing. I have no idea what time it is for him, though. He might be a little cross if it's the middle of the night..

From:

transfuge

I know. It's different for us.

[ It had been different since the night they all slept together. That night had fundamentally changed Booker's outlook for the future. He wanted Joe. He wanted Nicky.

He still wanted a house for all of them but like he wanted to spend his nights wrapped up in their arms and days being able to kiss them whenever the hell he wanted even though it's completely unconventional.

Bisexuals are supposed to be greedy right? He's just embracing the stereotype. ]

I sent him a picture of you unpacking stuff and he cursed me out so he might still be up.

[ He tugged Nicky onto his feet so he wasn't so curled up and closed off. ]

Come on. Food will make us feel better.

From:

peace_inthe_violence

[He went to his feet easily enough, though he looked more than a little confused when Booker told him that Joe had cursed him out for sending a picture. Of him? He made a face.]

Probably because I have sweat hair and I look like a drowned rat.

[But he did reach out to take Booker's hand as they walked out to get their food. He was quiet, but it was contemplative quiet instead of the brewing emotions quiet of before and when he stepped up to order his sandwich he was even able to give the waitress a small smile.

He held Booker's hand the entire way back to his dorm, too, if Booker let him.]

Is it...Okay, so I know that gay, bi, straight, and pan are all different things, but...what if you're some weird mix of both?

From:

transfuge

When your hair is a mess like that and you're sweaty as hell. You look pretty close to when we wrecked you.

[ Which is why all the cursing. Joe is in America still, far away from the two people he wants to be with. It's hard on him.

He squeezes Nicky's hand as they walked and ordered for both of them once he knew what Nicky wanted. They could hold hands the whole time if that's what Nicky wanted. ]

The answer to that depends on who you ask. Bisexual feels right to me. But the whole thing is a spectrum. I can pull up a Kinsey test when we get back to the dorm if you want.

From:

peace_inthe_violence

[It took a long while for his blush to go down after Booker used the phrase 'wrecked' and all the images that brought back, but he didn't try to argue.

They had wrecked him. He liked to think that he at least helped them wreck each other, too. He was under no delusions, though. He was the least experienced out of the three of them, after all.

He pondered the idea of a 'spectrum' for a while, walking along side one of the men who'd captured his heart so tightly. It made sense that it would be...but why couldn't he find any real studies about it?]

Yeah, I'd like that. Maybe tomorrow, though? The plan was a movie tonight, right? I..I'd like to hold you a little bit if you don't mind? Just holding, nothing funny.

From:

transfuge

Yeah, we can just watch a movie and cuddle.

[ The group cuddled all the time. It was just what they did when they watched movies. Booker was really excited for a chance to hold Nicky for awhile. ]

What movie do you want to watch?

[ He leads him back up to the dorm and hands him the food while he gets his laptop and Netflix. ]

Alright, you want the edge of the bed? Or the wall?

From:

peace_inthe_violence

I'll take the edge.

[The answer came without a moment's hesitation. It was the same answer he'd had staying the night with Booker after Pride, the same way he slept every time they'd shared a hotel room while on the road.

In fact, the only time that he hadn't put himself between his boys and the door was when he'd been too wrecked to move from where they'd put him.

He divvied up the food onto the bedside table, then grabbed his phone and cycled through his contacts until he could pull up Joe's number, shooting off a text to see if he was still awake.]

From:

transfuge

Had to ask.

[ Booker climbs over to the wall side and puts the laptop carefully where both of them can see it and still manage to cuddle.

Joe is not up right now. He doesn't answer Nicky's texts which is a shame because it would be really good to talk to him. They'll have to chat tomorrow morning when timezones line up for a brief time. ]

If you don't pick something I'm going to pick the movie.

[ He grabs some food and shoves it in his mouth, looking for all the world like he's the happiest he's been in a long, long time. ]

From:

peace_inthe_violence

[Happy was good.

When Joe didn't answer, Nicky set his phone off to one side, then crawled up onto the bed. It was a tight fit between the two of them, but it would get a lot better once their food was gone and they could wrap each other up in one another.]

Something...flashy. Action. Too many explosions.

[He smirked, taking a bite of his sandwich and settling in.]

From:

transfuge

Well, you're stuck watching my favorite action movie then.

[ Booker puts on The Bourne Identity which is probably a little more plot heavy than Nicky really wanted but it has car chases and explosions and it takes place in Paris. It's the best.

Once the food is done Booker inches close to Nicky, puts an arm around his shoulder and tugs him against his side. It's time for cuddling and nuzzling.

They both need the comfort so Booker's going to take the opportunity to hold on and bask in it. ]

From:

peace_inthe_violence

[Well, it wasn't the best, but it was good and it made Booker smile. Which, in turn, made Nicky smile.

Once the food was done and the movie was starting to hint at it's first big fight, Booker wrapped an arm around his shoulders and Nicky's smile turned a little shy as he scooted down just a little to better fit against the other boy's chest. Booker was broader but Nicky was still of a similar enough height that it took a bit of shifting to find the sweet spot.

It didn't take that much work, though, and he made a pleased, contented sound in his throat as he settled back into the cuddle.

After a while, around the mid point of the movie, Nicky turned his head just a little and pressed a kiss against the underside of Booker's jaw.]

From:

transfuge

[ Wasn't it an innocent little kiss like that kicked off that summer night? Just the three of them lying around in bed with the TV on in the background? And then one little kiss and a little touch and then it all broke loose?

Booker closed his eyes and sighed softly. He brushed his fingers along Nicky's arm because he liked to torture himself. ]

Careful with that. Your kisses are lethal.

[ There wasn't supposed to be any funny stuff tonight. Booker reminded himself of that even though everything was totally perfect to make out for awhile.

He wasn't going to make Nicky stop. Not yet, at least. Booker wanted it too. ]

From:

peace_inthe_violence

[He had said that, hadn't he? For a moment, he considered throwing his own rule out the window and rolling over to claim Booker's mouth in a good, proper kiss.

But the rule hadn't just been for him, had it?

He rested his lips against the same spot, less of a kiss and more of a nuzzle before he obediently turned back to the laptop.]

Apologies, mio amore. I don't mean to be so cruel to either of us..

From:

transfuge

It's okay.

[ Booker's Italian was better thanks to Nicky so he knew what Nicky called him. It made his heart ache a little bit. ]

You are a very loving guy.

[ He turned his head and kissed Nicky's temple. They'll walk a fine line between friendly affection and more. Booker was willing to take that risk because it wasn't their style not to be affectionate with each other. ]

I take it the movie is kind of boring?

From:

peace_inthe_violence

I..I guess I am.

[He arched a brow at himself, but it didn't feel wrong. It should make him feel a little like a..well, like a paid boy, but instead it just made him feel good to know that his group knew that he loved them.

Shaking his head, he reached out to catch Booker's hand so he could thread their fingers together.]

I'm enjoying the movie, I just forgot myself for a moment.

From:

transfuge

[ Booker really wanted to say something about how it was pretty telling that as soon as he stopped overthinking Nicky wanted to kiss and touch one of the people he loved.

But he didn't. He wasn't here to pressure Nicky with his own selfish desires. They felt kind of selfish right now when Nicky was so conflicted. It would be comforting to him to spend the night with Nicky but that would make things messy.

And they don't need messy in their lives with all the big changes. ]

It's been a long day. We could go to sleep if you want?

[ They only have a few days together. Nicky will go back to Italy. Booker will stay in Paris. He wanted to spend as much time as possible awake with him but if he needed to sleep Booker would shift his thinking to cuddling asleep instead. ]

From:

peace_inthe_violence

[There was a time and a place for messy...but the first night in a new dorm wasn't it.

He squeezed Booker's hand and shook his head.]

Not yet. If I fall asleep, so be it, but I want to stay like this a bit longer. Please?

[Because he was comfortable and content and for once his mind wasn't running a million miles an hour. It would only be better if Joe was there. On screen there was a witty retort and the beginning of a fight and Nicky smiled as he nestled further into Booker's body.

He was fast asleep before the credits started rolling.]

From:

transfuge

Yeah, no problem.

[ He was a little more awake so he didn't fall asleep but he knew when Nicky did. Carefully, he grabbed his phone and opened the camera. It wouldn't be a good for the flash to go off so he turned that off. Hopefully the laptop screen and low light in the dorm was enough.

Booker grabbed a selfie with Nicky sleeping against him and sent it to their group chat with a little message: 'moved in to the new dorm'. If anyone else was awake they'd say something.

After putting his phone down Booker tried to carefully move Nicky so he was more lying down and he had room to move the laptop out of the way. There was no point in him staying awake when Nicky was asleep. It was prime cuddling time. ]

From:

peace_inthe_violence

[Unfortunately for Booker, growing up with a father much like Booker's had left Nicky a very light sleeper. He slept through the picture and the little chime from across the room when his own phone told him that someone had posted to the group chat, but as soon as Booker was actively trying to move him, he was awake with a startle.

His first action was to half sit up, shielding the body behind him from the still closed door.]

Wh-? Oh... sorry. Didn't mean to fall asleep..

[But he was quick to lay back down as soon as Booker had set aside the laptop.]

From:

transfuge

I figured. Sorry to wake you up. Looked like you needed it.

[ Well, since Nicky was up Booker got up from the bed and put the laptop on the desk. Look, he wanted to take care of his tech.

He also checked the door to make sure it was locked. He couldn't forget the lessons living with his dad had taught him either. ]

Let's just go to bed. We've got to finish unpacking tomorrow so rest is a good idea.

[ Booker got back in bed and snuggled up against Nicky. He pulled a blanket over them and tossed his arm over him. It was important to get as much touching in as possible. ]

From:

peace_inthe_violence

[The bed was plenty big enough for two mostly grown men as long as they didn't mind being wrapped in one another. Nicky sure as hell didn't mind. Booker wrapped his arm around him and he made a pleased sound as he laid his arm over Booker's.

He was asleep in minutes, the idle drawings of his thumb on Booker's wrist slowing and then finally stopping. He slept better that night than he had since Joe and the girls had left them at the airport.

He woke early. Slowly. He could hear the world starting outside the window, outside of the door...but behind him was Booker's warmth and his breathing and Nicky smiled in the dim light and bowed his head to thank God for the man behind him.]

From:

transfuge

[ When he felt safe Booker would sleep for hours. The only reason he ever got up early was he had a good reason like school or his dad spooked him awake. Sometimes he would get up early just to get out of the house.

Paris didn't have that threat. He slept in for the few days he was with his mom. He slept in now. Booker was safe with Nicky in his arms. The comfort of a warm body against him really encouraged him not to get up.

And not waking up anytime soon. ]

From:

peace_inthe_violence

[He prayed quietly for a time. Thought about things for a time. Talked them out in his head for a time and, eventually, he carefully slid out of bed. He wasn't gone for long, though. Just long enough to grab his phone (and send a -_- face at the picture of him asleep), then he was back.

When Booker finally woke, Nicky was still right there, scrolling through his phone. He was on...a website? A school website? Looking at college courses?]