[Shame. A walk by the Seine would be romantic. Of course, Nicky was of the opinion that anything with either Booker or Joe (but even better with Booker and Joe) would be romantic.
He was a sap. Not as vocal about it as Joe was, but it was still there.
The jab about his pictionary skills made him snort, though.]
See if I play with either of you, again. Nile and I can be on a team. She appreciates my style.
[Nicky couldn't help but think about romantic things like that. As it was his decision that everyone was waiting on, however, it was kind of his job to think about both sides of things. Romance and the men that he felt so entwined with, even before they'd spent that amazing night together. Or the calling that he'd felt in his bones everyday since he'd been old enough to understand that the way he'd grown up was not the way it had to be.
But was it a Calling, or simply a calling? That was the part he was having trouble with.
He gave Booker's hand a little squeeze before he let go to sit on the other side of the table, smiling at the waiter when he came out to order. And, as silly as all of his friends thought him, he did check his watch before ordering his cappuccino. It was late enough that any cafe in Italy would have laughed at him, but he still ordered it.]
I'm not sure if you'd want to read my mind, mio amore.
[ Booker charmed the waiter in under a minute flat for better service and because he liked do it. He got a simple black iced coffee and a cheese plate to snack on.
Under the table Booker knocked their ankles together just to keep touching. It was anchoring that physical reminder that Nicky was there and he wasn't alone in a brand new country that was shaping up to be his home. ]
[He was going to get lightheaded from all the blushing.]
You...
[But he grinned and shifted his ankle to rest comfortably into the touch. The charming of the waiter didn't bother him. Yes, Booker could get a date with just a smile, but it was him that had caught his eye. Him that he'd let touch him.
It made those butterflies in his stomach flutter back to life.
He accepted his drink with a small 'thank you', only making a little face at the first sip.]
You are a charming little sucker, you know that right? Joe would be all growl and jealousy if he were here. And you know what? I bet you'd like that.
[ Booker shrugged a shoulder. A lot of his strategy for life was charm his way through it. Sure, he was smart and all that but being liked got him way farther than being the gifted kid in class.
That was how it felt until he made real friends. Now he knew the difference between friends and fake friends. He knew what real love was from Joe and Nicky loving him as fiercely as they did. ]
Maybe I do. He always kisses just a little harder when he gets jealous.
[ Actually, it kind of made him miss Joe. It would be way too long until he joined them. ]
[He was quiet for a moment, sipping at his coffee and ignoring the cheese plate (honestly, savory? No thank you. He'll wait for his crepes). He leaned back in his seat, soaking in the warmth of the sun and the sounds of the city, looking content and pleased with himself.
He was comfortable here. Far more comfortable than he had been when he'd taken the whole group to see his family home in Genoa. The place had been comfortable enough and his mother had been pleasant enough, but his brother and father had been curt and abrupt and his mother had been interrupted when she'd gone to invite them all for dinner.
Here, there was none of that and he took in a large breath before he turned back to Booker, smiling and looking a little shy.]
You know that just because I don't get jealous like that does mean I don't love you as much as he does, right?
[ He sat forward, reached across the table and squeezed Nicky's hand tightly. ]
I don't doubt for a second how much you love me.
[ Maybe there was a treacherous little voice in the back of his head that worried sometimes that Joe and Nicky loved each other more than they loved him. That little voice told him sometimes he was just extra. He was the third wheel.
Luckily, Booker knew not to trust that voice. It was part of those self-destructive, intrusive thoughts that came with his depression. ]
[He caught Booker's hand and held it, even after that little squeeze. He ran his thumb over the ridges of the other's knuckles, feeling the texture of his skin and savoring the warmth of his hand.]
I don't want you to ever doubt that, Sebastien. No matter what I decide, you and Joe will always have my heart.
[Just...maybe not his body. Though, he'd been thinking about that. A lot.
Maybe even made a decision already, though he wasn't even admitting that himself just yet.]
[ If Nicky decided to go into the priesthood Booker would really miss those kisses and those touches. Sex didn't equal love. He knew that but man he loved the physical reassurance. ]
So, after this we go and unpack. Do you want to take a look around the campus after that?
[ Booker had done a tour before deciding on this university. It was pretty even though it was still in the city and relatively small compared to some universities.
At some point, he'll meet the people living in his dorm and maybe try making some other friends. Maybe. ]
[He knew his friend well enough to know that Booker would be lost without touch. Being told he was loved and cherished was all great and good, but Booker needed the reassurance that came with touch.
Which worked, because Nicky had found that the same was true for himself. He could live without it and keep a proper distance in public, but he liked the feeling of someone's hand or back or shoulder under his hands.
Their waiter returned and Nicky didn't let go of Booker's hand until their plates were being set down in front of them.]
I think a tour would be lovely. Maybe after we talk to Joe? I don't know when he was planning on calling, though, so we'll have to see.
He'll text when he's ready. Hopefully he doesn't get caught up in getting his portfolio together.
[ Joe was definitely stressed about all the art school applications. He had gone international as well with universities in London, Paris, and Rome. All in the hopes that he can be close to his two loves.
The call would hopefully calm some of those nerves and soothe his loneliness. ]
But later is probably better. It's going to be another hot one. And we need to shower at some point today.
[ But there was food and holding Nicky's hand would have to wait for him to eat because Booker loved food. ]
Showering. Yes. This is a thing I very much want to do. You also need to take back the truck before they charge you an extra day.
[Booker wasn't the only one who loved food. Nicky's breakfast wasn't as hearty, but it wasn't as small as Italian breakfasts were, either. Add in the late coffee and he was being all kinds of rebellious today.
He dug into his crepes, making sure to get plenty of berry with each bite.]
Mmm, these are delicious. We'll make him sit down and take some time away from it. Knowing him, he's been fussing with it since he woke up.
Okay, so take the truck back. Then unpack. Then shower. Somewhere in there a call with Joe. Then tour campus. Sound good?
[ Booker was great at improvising but he really preferred to have a plan whenever possible.
The showers might be a tricky part of the day because well Nicky, naked, water, yeah he could see that presenting a serious temptation. Gotta keep his hands off. ]
[Or he could not keep his hands to himself. Though, that brought an element of getting caught in a semi-public space with Booker's cock down Nicky's throat.
Oh hey, look at that. Nicky had a bit of his devonshire cream at the corner of his mouth.]
Sounds like a plan to me. I can start unpacking boxes while you take the truck back so we can multi-task. And my train doesn't leave until noon tomorrow, so we should be able to get you unpacked and squared away pretty well.
Here, try this.
[He offered his fork with a rather large bite of crepe, berry compote, and cream all at once.]
[ If Booker had any idea Nicky was thinking about fooling around in the shower he would eat lunch as fast as possible. What he wouldn't do for another chance to be with Nicky. ]
Yeah, that's probably a good idea. It won't take all day then.
[ But instead, his brain focuses on the leaving part. Tomorrow, after Nicky leaves, he'll be alone in Paris without his friends. It'd be really hard and he was actually a little scared.
He'd probably cry a little at the train station but Booker knew he had to face being an adult on his own eventually. He might just be sad for awhile. ]
Looks good. [ He leaned forward and closed his mouth around the forkful of crepe. Booker's moan of enjoyment was pretty sexual but French food was like that. ]
[Yes, well..Nicky was having a little trouble keeping his mind out of the gutter, if he were honest with himself. All the thoughts of what to do with his future just kept intermingling with memories of Joe's hands on his hips and Booker's body under his hands.
Hearing Booker moan like that around a mouthful of food did not help. It did, however, make his cheeks tinge red.]
You are indecent and you love it. Tease.
[Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot he could do about leaving. Even if he did decide to give up the seminary, it wasn't like he had any of his things. Or a place to live. He couldn't exactly just stay in Booker's dorm with him.
Pulling his fork back, he popped it back into his mouth to get the little taste of his lover that was left before tucking back into his meal.]
[ Booker very deliberately licked his lips and then licked a little cream from the tip of his thumb. ]
I've got no idea what you mean, Nicky.
[ He wouldn't do it often but sometimes Booker wanted to flirt with Nicky. The blush on his cheeks was super cute. He wanted to see him get all flustered and turned on. ]
Indecent would be licking that bit of compote from the corner of your mouth for you instead of pointing it out like a gentleman.
[ Because that was what Booker wanted to do about it. But he didn't because he was behaving himself. Making out with Nicky at a cafe was not respectful and helpful to his decision making. ]
Nicky sucked in a little breath, then reached up to wipe at the corners of his mouth. For a split second he considered offering it out for Booker to lick from his finger, but the impulse was quickly crushed. They were in public, Booker had explained that he was trying to be respectful, Nicky didn't want to get his hopes up....the list was long.
But he still wanted to.
Instead, he wiped it off on his napkin and took a large drink of his coffee.]
Is this constant state of super charged hormones how most people get through adolescence? Because I have to say, I was never this dirty minded before you and the others got their hands on me.
[His eyes went a little wide and his blush darkened.]
[ Booker knew he shouldn't laugh but it was pretty funny. He had spent most of his high school years surrounded by a bunch of attractive people and it had definitely left him in a heightened state of horny. ]
I think it burns out after awhile. But I don't know. Maybe with the right people you've always got it this bad. I mean, Joe just keeps getting better with age.
[ Man, they all did. Booker didn't see it in himself often because mental issues but he saw his friends just getting better and better with age. ]
Welcome to the gutter with the rest of us. We're having a blast.
[ Well, less of a blast because he couldn't actually fool around with Nicky right now but it was nice to know he was still thinking about it. ]
[He smirked, unable to really laugh at himself just yet, but plenty able to find the amusement in it. He shoved another bite of food into his mouth in retaliation, chewing thoughtfully.]
I mean it, though. Until last summer, I'd never been bothered by any of this. Sure, I had an idea that I might not like women, but I'd never seen a guy I liked, either. Not enough to really... [He gestured with his fork.] Think about it. And then last summer I was suddenly surrounded by all of you beautiful people, but it had nothing to do with your beauty? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense to me.
Basically, I'm blaming my newfound libido on you guys. Deal with it.
Oh. So, uh, I think that's called Demisexual? Like some people don't experience sexual desire until they come to love someone. I think that's right.
[ Booker dug out his phone to check the definition. He was pretty sure that was right. Quynh had explained it to him because that's how she felt about Andy. ]
Yeah, that's it. Without an emotional bond you don't feel sexual attraction. It's more of that spectrum I told you about before. You should text Quynh though. She identifies like that.
[ He slid his phone over to Nicky so he could read the definition for himself. ]
[He took the offered phone, fork set aside in favor of scrolling through the information provided to him. From a quick cursory glance, it seemed right, but he couldn't say for absolute sure until he'd read further into it.
Booker, you might want to take your phone back before he just reads all the things and completely forgets about the rest of the food on his plate.]
Yeah. Quyhn and I hung out before we met the others. We had AP Lit together. We talked a lot.
[ And she kept him from feeling so lonely. At first, he thought it could be a romantic thing until Quyhn explained the demisexual to him. Booker had felt like an idiot but it also made him realize the difference when she met Andy. ]
And it does kind of explain why you never really wanted anyone until you met us. You loved us before you slept with us.
[ The reading is important though. Booker wanted Nicky to have the most understanding of himself before he went to the priesthood. If he knew himself... maybe he'd find something else to do with his life.
But after a minute he nudged Nicky with his foot. ]
['Slept with us'. He blushed again, no surprise there. But tried to hide his blush by delving further into the new topic. It was kind of fascinating, really. The differences in sexuality and how it was expressed.
He blinked when his foot was nudged, then glanced down at his plate and sheepishly handed Booker's phone back to him.]
I will look into this more later. After we're done. Sorry, didn't mean to get so absorbed.
But, from what I saw glancing through it? Yeah. That...that makes a lot of sense.
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He was a sap. Not as vocal about it as Joe was, but it was still there.
The jab about his pictionary skills made him snort, though.]
See if I play with either of you, again. Nile and I can be on a team. She appreciates my style.
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[ When Joe is finally in Paris with them, they can all go walk along the Seine and have a very romantic dinner down there.
If Nicky chooses them.
Booker won't imagine a romantic date like that when it's possible it won't happen. ]
Although, maybe you're right. It's not fair when Joe and I are on a team together. We slaughter you all.
[ When they reach the cafe Booker sat down at the first available outside table. It's a warm day again and he wants to be outside. ]
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But was it a Calling, or simply a calling? That was the part he was having trouble with.
He gave Booker's hand a little squeeze before he let go to sit on the other side of the table, smiling at the waiter when he came out to order. And, as silly as all of his friends thought him, he did check his watch before ordering his cappuccino. It was late enough that any cafe in Italy would have laughed at him, but he still ordered it.]
I'm not sure if you'd want to read my mind, mio amore.
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Under the table Booker knocked their ankles together just to keep touching. It was anchoring that physical reminder that Nicky was there and he wasn't alone in a brand new country that was shaping up to be his home. ]
No? I knew you secretly had a dirty mind.
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You...
[But he grinned and shifted his ankle to rest comfortably into the touch. The charming of the waiter didn't bother him. Yes, Booker could get a date with just a smile, but it was him that had caught his eye. Him that he'd let touch him.
It made those butterflies in his stomach flutter back to life.
He accepted his drink with a small 'thank you', only making a little face at the first sip.]
You are a charming little sucker, you know that right? Joe would be all growl and jealousy if he were here. And you know what? I bet you'd like that.
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[ Booker shrugged a shoulder. A lot of his strategy for life was charm his way through it. Sure, he was smart and all that but being liked got him way farther than being the gifted kid in class.
That was how it felt until he made real friends. Now he knew the difference between friends and fake friends. He knew what real love was from Joe and Nicky loving him as fiercely as they did. ]
Maybe I do. He always kisses just a little harder when he gets jealous.
[ Actually, it kind of made him miss Joe. It would be way too long until he joined them. ]
It's nice to know he wants me that much.
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He was comfortable here. Far more comfortable than he had been when he'd taken the whole group to see his family home in Genoa. The place had been comfortable enough and his mother had been pleasant enough, but his brother and father had been curt and abrupt and his mother had been interrupted when she'd gone to invite them all for dinner.
Here, there was none of that and he took in a large breath before he turned back to Booker, smiling and looking a little shy.]
You know that just because I don't get jealous like that does mean I don't love you as much as he does, right?
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[ He sat forward, reached across the table and squeezed Nicky's hand tightly. ]
I don't doubt for a second how much you love me.
[ Maybe there was a treacherous little voice in the back of his head that worried sometimes that Joe and Nicky loved each other more than they loved him. That little voice told him sometimes he was just extra. He was the third wheel.
Luckily, Booker knew not to trust that voice. It was part of those self-destructive, intrusive thoughts that came with his depression. ]
oops. Well, you knew what I meant >>
I don't want you to ever doubt that, Sebastien. No matter what I decide, you and Joe will always have my heart.
[Just...maybe not his body. Though, he'd been thinking about that. A lot.
Maybe even made a decision already, though he wasn't even admitting that himself just yet.]
;D
[ If Nicky decided to go into the priesthood Booker would really miss those kisses and those touches. Sex didn't equal love. He knew that but man he loved the physical reassurance. ]
So, after this we go and unpack. Do you want to take a look around the campus after that?
[ Booker had done a tour before deciding on this university. It was pretty even though it was still in the city and relatively small compared to some universities.
At some point, he'll meet the people living in his dorm and maybe try making some other friends. Maybe. ]
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Which worked, because Nicky had found that the same was true for himself. He could live without it and keep a proper distance in public, but he liked the feeling of someone's hand or back or shoulder under his hands.
Their waiter returned and Nicky didn't let go of Booker's hand until their plates were being set down in front of them.]
I think a tour would be lovely. Maybe after we talk to Joe? I don't know when he was planning on calling, though, so we'll have to see.
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[ Joe was definitely stressed about all the art school applications. He had gone international as well with universities in London, Paris, and Rome. All in the hopes that he can be close to his two loves.
The call would hopefully calm some of those nerves and soothe his loneliness. ]
But later is probably better. It's going to be another hot one. And we need to shower at some point today.
[ But there was food and holding Nicky's hand would have to wait for him to eat because Booker loved food. ]
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[Booker wasn't the only one who loved food. Nicky's breakfast wasn't as hearty, but it wasn't as small as Italian breakfasts were, either. Add in the late coffee and he was being all kinds of rebellious today.
He dug into his crepes, making sure to get plenty of berry with each bite.]
Mmm, these are delicious. We'll make him sit down and take some time away from it. Knowing him, he's been fussing with it since he woke up.
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[ He grumbled into his food for a moment. ]
Okay, so take the truck back. Then unpack. Then shower. Somewhere in there a call with Joe. Then tour campus. Sound good?
[ Booker was great at improvising but he really preferred to have a plan whenever possible.
The showers might be a tricky part of the day because well Nicky, naked, water, yeah he could see that presenting a serious temptation. Gotta keep his hands off. ]
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Oh hey, look at that. Nicky had a bit of his devonshire cream at the corner of his mouth.]
Sounds like a plan to me. I can start unpacking boxes while you take the truck back so we can multi-task. And my train doesn't leave until noon tomorrow, so we should be able to get you unpacked and squared away pretty well.
Here, try this.
[He offered his fork with a rather large bite of crepe, berry compote, and cream all at once.]
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Yeah, that's probably a good idea. It won't take all day then.
[ But instead, his brain focuses on the leaving part. Tomorrow, after Nicky leaves, he'll be alone in Paris without his friends. It'd be really hard and he was actually a little scared.
He'd probably cry a little at the train station but Booker knew he had to face being an adult on his own eventually. He might just be sad for awhile. ]
Looks good. [ He leaned forward and closed his mouth around the forkful of crepe. Booker's moan of enjoyment was pretty sexual but French food was like that. ]
Oh, fuck yes, that's amazing.
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Hearing Booker moan like that around a mouthful of food did not help. It did, however, make his cheeks tinge red.]
You are indecent and you love it. Tease.
[Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot he could do about leaving. Even if he did decide to give up the seminary, it wasn't like he had any of his things. Or a place to live. He couldn't exactly just stay in Booker's dorm with him.
Pulling his fork back, he popped it back into his mouth to get the little taste of his lover that was left before tucking back into his meal.]
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I've got no idea what you mean, Nicky.
[ He wouldn't do it often but sometimes Booker wanted to flirt with Nicky. The blush on his cheeks was super cute. He wanted to see him get all flustered and turned on. ]
Indecent would be licking that bit of compote from the corner of your mouth for you instead of pointing it out like a gentleman.
[ Because that was what Booker wanted to do about it. But he didn't because he was behaving himself. Making out with Nicky at a cafe was not respectful and helpful to his decision making. ]
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Nicky sucked in a little breath, then reached up to wipe at the corners of his mouth. For a split second he considered offering it out for Booker to lick from his finger, but the impulse was quickly crushed. They were in public, Booker had explained that he was trying to be respectful, Nicky didn't want to get his hopes up....the list was long.
But he still wanted to.
Instead, he wiped it off on his napkin and took a large drink of his coffee.]
Is this constant state of super charged hormones how most people get through adolescence? Because I have to say, I was never this dirty minded before you and the others got their hands on me.
[His eyes went a little wide and his blush darkened.]
That sounded less filthy in my head...
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I think it burns out after awhile. But I don't know. Maybe with the right people you've always got it this bad. I mean, Joe just keeps getting better with age.
[ Man, they all did. Booker didn't see it in himself often because mental issues but he saw his friends just getting better and better with age. ]
Welcome to the gutter with the rest of us. We're having a blast.
[ Well, less of a blast because he couldn't actually fool around with Nicky right now but it was nice to know he was still thinking about it. ]
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I mean it, though. Until last summer, I'd never been bothered by any of this. Sure, I had an idea that I might not like women, but I'd never seen a guy I liked, either. Not enough to really... [He gestured with his fork.] Think about it. And then last summer I was suddenly surrounded by all of you beautiful people, but it had nothing to do with your beauty? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense to me.
Basically, I'm blaming my newfound libido on you guys. Deal with it.
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[ Booker dug out his phone to check the definition. He was pretty sure that was right. Quynh had explained it to him because that's how she felt about Andy. ]
Yeah, that's it. Without an emotional bond you don't feel sexual attraction. It's more of that spectrum I told you about before. You should text Quynh though. She identifies like that.
[ He slid his phone over to Nicky so he could read the definition for himself. ]
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[He took the offered phone, fork set aside in favor of scrolling through the information provided to him. From a quick cursory glance, it seemed right, but he couldn't say for absolute sure until he'd read further into it.
Booker, you might want to take your phone back before he just reads all the things and completely forgets about the rest of the food on his plate.]
Huh...
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[ And she kept him from feeling so lonely. At first, he thought it could be a romantic thing until Quyhn explained the demisexual to him. Booker had felt like an idiot but it also made him realize the difference when she met Andy. ]
And it does kind of explain why you never really wanted anyone until you met us. You loved us before you slept with us.
[ The reading is important though. Booker wanted Nicky to have the most understanding of himself before he went to the priesthood. If he knew himself... maybe he'd find something else to do with his life.
But after a minute he nudged Nicky with his foot. ]
Your crepes are getting cold. Read and eat.
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He blinked when his foot was nudged, then glanced down at his plate and sheepishly handed Booker's phone back to him.]
I will look into this more later. After we're done. Sorry, didn't mean to get so absorbed.
But, from what I saw glancing through it? Yeah. That...that makes a lot of sense.
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