[Goodbye always sucked. It had sucked when he'd flown out of O'Hare to start his last year of high school. It had sucked when he'd dropped off everyone but Booker at Cristoforo Colombo at the end of their summer road trip of the Mediterranean.
But most recently, it had sucked leaving Booker behind on the train platform in Paris.
It sucked more when he'd been home for all of three days when his dad had came bursting into his room, demanding to know why he'd withdrawn himself from Seminary. The resulting fight had been loud and long and....and the nightly calls between the three of them had been voice only and much shorter since then, Nicky staying quiet and mostly just listening to Joe and Booker's voices.
He hadn't made plans to be back in Paris for almost a month. Time to give Booker a chance to settle into his classes, time for him to think about the direction he wanted to take himself now. Time for Joe to get accepted into his art program and get there. The plan had been to talk every night and text every day and to suffer the distance until they could all meet again.
So Booker getting a text Friday afternoon after his last class of his first week was not part of the plan.]
[ Booker had adjusted slightly to being on his own. He had made a few friends in class and honestly, the intro computer sci courses were all stuff he already knew, so he was kind of coasting along.
It was fun for the most part but he missed Joe and Nicky. He missed having someone to sleep next to and no kisses every day was rough. But they had calls. Joe got into one of the best art schools in Paris so he would be joining them soon. ]
Everything okay? Need me to send money for a train ticket?
[ It was short notice which wasn't usually Nicky's style. They always planned things out to make sure Booker could get him from the train station and he got permission for Nicky to stay with him in the dorm.
No, I already got it. Thank you. I'll figure out how to get there, don't worry about picking me up. I love you.
[It was very odd, but he didn't elaborate anymore on it. Doggedly refused to answer questions, instead always turning the conversation to Booker's classes.
He sent a text near midnight to say that he'd gotten onto the train just fine and that he was going to get into the station at around 3pm. He sent another around 9am to complain about sleeping sitting up. Otherwise, he was quiet.]
[ It was odd enough that Booker let Joe know something was going on with Nicky and he didn't think it was good. He wished he could tell Joe more but Nicky was stubborn and there was no way to make him talk.
Booker's anxiety was a little stronger than usual now. He just felt a little on edge with worry. Something was wrong with his boyfriend and he couldn't make it right.
He was on the train platform at three even though Nicky had said not to pick him up. There was no way he could sit around his dorm and wait for him. He needed to make sure Nicky was okay. ]
[Normally when Nicky traveled, he traveled light. Even going over seas for three months, he'd only brought two duffle bags. He was a simple man and didn't need a whole lot of extra things. Most weekend trips saw him with only a backpack slung over his shoulder.
He got off the train with his backpack over his shoulders and a duffle hanging from each shoulder. All three bags were full.
He also got off the train with what a black eye that covered most of the right side of his face that was only just starting to yellow around the edges. He wore sunglasses to try and hide the worst of it, but they didn't do a whole lot.
Spotting Booker waiting for him on the platform, he paused mid-step and waited for the fireworks to begin.]
[ There were no fireworks. Booker spotted him then spotted the black eye and his heart broke. He knew instantly who caused it but could only guess why. ]
Oh, Nicky.
[ He went over to him and pulled him into his arms, holding him tightly. The anger would come in a few hours when he knew for certain Nicky was safe. Right now, it was just heartache. ]
We're not going back to the dorm. We'll go to my mom's place. You can stay in my room.
[ And his mom would look after Nicky. Nothing would happen to Nicky under his mom's watch.
It would also keep Nicky from the gossip of the dorm which was very invested in their relationship for some stupid reason. Booker figured Nicky didn't want a bunch of people staring at him right now. ]
[There was no anger, only a hug and Nicky felt all of the tension of the last week leave his body in a rush as he leaned against the sturdy frame of his boyfriend. He didn't cry. He'd cried himself out and now all he was was tired. Tired and angry.]
I don't want to impose on your mother, Booker. I'll be fine.
[He'd just hide in the dorm and not deal with people. Totally an option, right?]
I'm sorry for dumping all of this on you. I just...I didn't know where else to go.
[ He rubbed his hand against the back of Nicky's head gentle and slow. Booker wanted to do whatever he could do to give him some sort of comfort. ]
You can always come to me. I love you. This is what you do for the person you love. No questions asked.
[ Booker leaned back and kissed Nicky's temple gently. He was no where near the bruise spread across Nicky's face but he still wanted to be tender and careful. ]
[ Booker carefully took one of the duffle bags from Nicky and hoisted it onto his shoulder. It felt way too heavy. Nicky must have packed up his whole life.
He took his hand and led him away from the platform. He wasn't alone anymore and whatever bullshit Nicky's dad had put into his head Booker would give him all the love in the world to make up for it. ]
Yeah, probably. We can tell him once you're settled, okay? And we'll both talk him down from doing something stupid.
[ Though Booker really wanted to do something stupid himself once Nicky was looked after.
Someone should teach that coward of a father a lesson and see how he liked getting a black eye.
Booker flagged down a cab and helped get Nicky's things in the trunk. Once they were settled in the backseat he put his arm around Nicky and gave the driver his mother's address. ]
[He had, in fact, packed up most of his life. The two duffles were an even split between clothes and books, and his backpack had his computer and a few other essentials that he hadn't been able to leave behind. Everything else that had been in his room had remained in his room and would remain there until his father decided to do something with them.
Nicky didn't care. He had the important things with him.
Getting into the backseat of the taxi, he let Booker take control of the situation, laying his down on the other boy's shoulder to keep himself grounded. He didn't want to think about how Booker's mother was going to react to him suddenly being in her home. Did she knew they were dating? Did she know they were dating Joe?
He reached up and pinched the yellowed bridge of his nose.]
I love you. I'm sorry.
[He didn't even know what he was apologizing for. Existing, probably.]
[ He kissed the top of Nicky's head and held his hand. Booker dialed his mom with his freehand and let her know he was coming over with his boyfriend.
Of course he had told her about his boyfriend though he hadn't yet told her he was also dating Joe. Booker didn't really have an idea on how to explain that yet.
She was surprised that he was visiting but would welcomed them. Booker didn't say anything about Nicky's injuries yet. He'd explain in person. ]
There. All set. I promise my mom's amazing. You'll love her. She's very nice. Just get some rest right now.
[ His mom lived outside Paris proper so they had a little bit of driving to do. ]
[Despite having apparently slept on the train, Nicky dozed for a good portion of the ride, his head pillowed on Booker's shoulder and the fingers of one hand lightly gripping the hem of Booker's shirt.
If his boyfriend moved, he'd know it. He'd know it and wake up and it was that comfort more than anything that allowed him to really rest.
After a while, though, he finally sat up. He looked a little less like a walking coma patient, though he did take off his glass which did not help his actual appearance. His eye was still a little swollen and the bruise in it's center was starting to mottle.]
I didn't mean to doze off like that. Where are we?
[ It hurt to look at Nicky. It made him ache. Booker wished he'd done more to make Nicky move here. He wished he never sent him back to his asshole dad. He wished that Nicky never got hurt in the first place. ]
You needed to sleep. It's fine.
[ Tenderly he reached up and brushed his thumb along the edge of the bruise. He loved him so much and hated seeing him hurt.
[He flinched a little when Booker's thumb touched his bruise. It didn't hurt, there wasn't enough pressure for that, but having the other boy touch it made it real. Made it something he couldn't just ignore.
Booker's lips on his kept his mind from spinning too far out of control.]
I'm fine, really. This isn't even that bad. It looks worse than it feels.
[But he still winced a little when he settled the sunglasses back on the bridge of his nose.]
She knows about us? Your mother? She is okay with it?
[ Nicky was clearly not fine but Booker wouldn't push while they were in the back of the cab. He'd get the whole story when they were alone together. ]
She does. I told her pretty soon after we became official. She's very happy I've found someone. I haven't figured out how to tell her about Joe though she knows he's my best friend.
[ His mom was pretty much the opposite of his dad which was why they had gotten a divorce. His mom would say his dad wasn't always like that but Booker had a hard time believing her. ]
She's also a fantastic baker so you'll get along great.
Maybe I will be able to pick up a few things. Learn some secret recipe that will win me any argument.
[He was still smiling, but the teasing had no edge to it. Just words to keep the conversation going in a nice, safe direction. He didn't want to talk about things. He didn't want to think about things. He just wanted to bask in the light of his boyfriend's love and soak it in like he was starved for it.]
I won't bring up Joe if you don't want me to, but can we still call him later?
[He'd hidden it from both of them for nearly a week, though that was more because he'd been afraid of Joe getting a plane ticket and Booker missing his first week of classes to come beat up his father. To be honest, that thought was one of the few that let him get any sleep at night while he'd still been there.
Now, though, he just really wanted to talk to the other man that he loved so much.
At the mention of 'settling' him into Booker's room, Nicky looked worried again.]
I really don't have to invade her house, Booker. I don't want to be troublesome and I certainly don't want to just assume that I'll be allowed to stay... What if she doesn't like me?
She'll take one look at what's been done to you and make the offer herself. My mom's got a good heart.
[ Booker got his softer side from his mother. She wouldn't dream of kicking Nicky out when he was hurt and had no where else to go.
They pulled out outside a small two-story house in a little suburb. His mom's place. Booker paid the cab driver and helped Nicky get his stuff. He made sure to take one of the bags and hold Nicky's hand as they walked to the front door. ]
Hi mom! [ Booker called when he walked in.
She was a pretty middle aged woman with the same color hair and eyes as Booker. She was clearly confused as to why her son was home on a weekend but did ask immediately what had happened to Nicky and then went to the kitchen to get some ice for his eye. ]
[There was still tension in his shoulders as they walked up the way to the front door. That tension grew when she started to immediately fuss over him, but he could only stammer a soft 'You don't have to...do..that' after her as she went to get the ice.
Even in America, he'd never been entirely comfortable around parental type people. Even Joe's parents, who'd been nothing but accepting and wonderful. It was a hard mindset to break.
Taking a breath to steady himself, Nicky closed his hand a little tighter around Booker's.]
This is one of those 'shut up and say thank you' moments, isn't it?
[ But Booker could see Nicky was uncomfortable. He took the ice from his mom and explained Nicky needed a place to stay. She agreed just like Booker said she would which gave him the chance to lead Nicky upstairs to his bedroom.
He made Nicky sit on the bed and put the ice on his eye while Booker put his stuff down. ]
Okay, so you can stay here. I'll be here for the weekend obviously.
[ Booker sat down next to Nicky and put an arm around him. ]
We'll figure out what else needs to be done later. Right now, just relax. You're safe and I'm with you. You don't have to worry about a thing anymore Nicky.
[It was perhaps a little stiffer than any 18 year old boy should manage, but he still managed to get it out when she returned to hand him the ice. And, more importantly, he meant it. He just didn't know how to articulate it.
For as loud and large and welcoming as Italian families were supposed to be, Nicky's had been the opposite. He'd brought his friends to meet them, but had only stayed a few hours to let the girls poke through his room and let Joe and Booker go through his books.
In those few short hours, Booker would have very plainly seen exactly why Nicky was so formal with his mother.
Escaping up to the bedroom that he was meant to stay in was a relief and Nicky leaned heavily against his boyfriend, trusting his arm to keep him safe and secure.]
I'm sorry I'm like this... She probably thinks me inconsiderate.
[Maybe Booker wasn't the only one of them that needed to be seeing a therapist. Nicky would never think of it himself, but the signs were there if one knew where to look.
At the question of calling Joe, he immediately nodded, then winced a little as the ice pack was jostled against his eye. No doubt Booker would use a video call instead of just sticking to voice. There would be no hiding, though Nicky was okay with that.
He was done hiding. He wanted his boyfriends, even if that meant Joe's anger.]
003
Date: 2020-09-01 07:26 pm (UTC)But most recently, it had sucked leaving Booker behind on the train platform in Paris.
It sucked more when he'd been home for all of three days when his dad had came bursting into his room, demanding to know why he'd withdrawn himself from Seminary. The resulting fight had been loud and long and....and the nightly calls between the three of them had been voice only and much shorter since then, Nicky staying quiet and mostly just listening to Joe and Booker's voices.
He hadn't made plans to be back in Paris for almost a month. Time to give Booker a chance to settle into his classes, time for him to think about the direction he wanted to take himself now. Time for Joe to get accepted into his art program and get there. The plan had been to talk every night and text every day and to suffer the distance until they could all meet again.
So Booker getting a text Friday afternoon after his last class of his first week was not part of the plan.]
Can I come up this weekend?
Re: 003
Date: 2020-09-01 07:34 pm (UTC)[ Booker had adjusted slightly to being on his own. He had made a few friends in class and honestly, the intro computer sci courses were all stuff he already knew, so he was kind of coasting along.
It was fun for the most part but he missed Joe and Nicky. He missed having someone to sleep next to and no kisses every day was rough. But they had calls. Joe got into one of the best art schools in Paris so he would be joining them soon. ]
Everything okay? Need me to send money for a train ticket?
[ It was short notice which wasn't usually Nicky's style. They always planned things out to make sure Booker could get him from the train station and he got permission for Nicky to stay with him in the dorm.
This was kind of unusual. ]
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Date: 2020-09-01 07:42 pm (UTC)[It was very odd, but he didn't elaborate anymore on it. Doggedly refused to answer questions, instead always turning the conversation to Booker's classes.
He sent a text near midnight to say that he'd gotten onto the train just fine and that he was going to get into the station at around 3pm. He sent another around 9am to complain about sleeping sitting up. Otherwise, he was quiet.]
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Date: 2020-09-01 07:48 pm (UTC)[ It was odd enough that Booker let Joe know something was going on with Nicky and he didn't think it was good. He wished he could tell Joe more but Nicky was stubborn and there was no way to make him talk.
Booker's anxiety was a little stronger than usual now. He just felt a little on edge with worry. Something was wrong with his boyfriend and he couldn't make it right.
He was on the train platform at three even though Nicky had said not to pick him up. There was no way he could sit around his dorm and wait for him. He needed to make sure Nicky was okay. ]
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Date: 2020-09-01 07:57 pm (UTC)He got off the train with his backpack over his shoulders and a duffle hanging from each shoulder. All three bags were full.
He also got off the train with what a black eye that covered most of the right side of his face that was only just starting to yellow around the edges. He wore sunglasses to try and hide the worst of it, but they didn't do a whole lot.
Spotting Booker waiting for him on the platform, he paused mid-step and waited for the fireworks to begin.]
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Date: 2020-09-01 08:03 pm (UTC)Oh, Nicky.
[ He went over to him and pulled him into his arms, holding him tightly. The anger would come in a few hours when he knew for certain Nicky was safe. Right now, it was just heartache. ]
We're not going back to the dorm. We'll go to my mom's place. You can stay in my room.
[ And his mom would look after Nicky. Nothing would happen to Nicky under his mom's watch.
It would also keep Nicky from the gossip of the dorm which was very invested in their relationship for some stupid reason. Booker figured Nicky didn't want a bunch of people staring at him right now. ]
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Date: 2020-09-01 08:20 pm (UTC)I don't want to impose on your mother, Booker. I'll be fine.
[He'd just hide in the dorm and not deal with people. Totally an option, right?]
I'm sorry for dumping all of this on you. I just...I didn't know where else to go.
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Date: 2020-09-01 08:24 pm (UTC)[ He rubbed his hand against the back of Nicky's head gentle and slow. Booker wanted to do whatever he could do to give him some sort of comfort. ]
You can always come to me. I love you. This is what you do for the person you love. No questions asked.
[ Booker leaned back and kissed Nicky's temple gently. He was no where near the bruise spread across Nicky's face but he still wanted to be tender and careful. ]
We'll go catch a cab and go to my Mom's.
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Date: 2020-09-01 08:32 pm (UTC)Okay. If you're sure. Do you need to call her? I don't want to surprise her.
[Because obviously he was going to be an imposition, no matter what Booker said. It was just who he was as a person, right? In the way and pointless.
He looked away and rubbed at his eyes under the glasses.]
Joe is going to..what is the idiom? 'Flip'?
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Date: 2020-09-01 08:41 pm (UTC)[ Booker carefully took one of the duffle bags from Nicky and hoisted it onto his shoulder. It felt way too heavy. Nicky must have packed up his whole life.
He took his hand and led him away from the platform. He wasn't alone anymore and whatever bullshit Nicky's dad had put into his head Booker would give him all the love in the world to make up for it. ]
Yeah, probably. We can tell him once you're settled, okay? And we'll both talk him down from doing something stupid.
[ Though Booker really wanted to do something stupid himself once Nicky was looked after.
Someone should teach that coward of a father a lesson and see how he liked getting a black eye.
Booker flagged down a cab and helped get Nicky's things in the trunk. Once they were settled in the backseat he put his arm around Nicky and gave the driver his mother's address. ]
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Date: 2020-09-01 09:09 pm (UTC)Nicky didn't care. He had the important things with him.
Getting into the backseat of the taxi, he let Booker take control of the situation, laying his down on the other boy's shoulder to keep himself grounded. He didn't want to think about how Booker's mother was going to react to him suddenly being in her home. Did she knew they were dating? Did she know they were dating Joe?
He reached up and pinched the yellowed bridge of his nose.]
I love you. I'm sorry.
[He didn't even know what he was apologizing for. Existing, probably.]
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Date: 2020-09-01 09:14 pm (UTC)[ He kissed the top of Nicky's head and held his hand. Booker dialed his mom with his freehand and let her know he was coming over with his boyfriend.
Of course he had told her about his boyfriend though he hadn't yet told her he was also dating Joe. Booker didn't really have an idea on how to explain that yet.
She was surprised that he was visiting but would welcomed them. Booker didn't say anything about Nicky's injuries yet. He'd explain in person. ]
There. All set. I promise my mom's amazing. You'll love her. She's very nice. Just get some rest right now.
[ His mom lived outside Paris proper so they had a little bit of driving to do. ]
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Date: 2020-09-01 09:32 pm (UTC)If his boyfriend moved, he'd know it. He'd know it and wake up and it was that comfort more than anything that allowed him to really rest.
After a while, though, he finally sat up. He looked a little less like a walking coma patient, though he did take off his glass which did not help his actual appearance. His eye was still a little swollen and the bruise in it's center was starting to mottle.]
I didn't mean to doze off like that. Where are we?
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Date: 2020-09-01 09:41 pm (UTC)[ It hurt to look at Nicky. It made him ache. Booker wished he'd done more to make Nicky move here. He wished he never sent him back to his asshole dad. He wished that Nicky never got hurt in the first place. ]
You needed to sleep. It's fine.
[ Tenderly he reached up and brushed his thumb along the edge of the bruise. He loved him so much and hated seeing him hurt.
Booker leaned in and kissed him gently. ]
You're safe now. I promise.
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Date: 2020-09-01 09:46 pm (UTC)Booker's lips on his kept his mind from spinning too far out of control.]
I'm fine, really. This isn't even that bad. It looks worse than it feels.
[But he still winced a little when he settled the sunglasses back on the bridge of his nose.]
She knows about us? Your mother? She is okay with it?
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Date: 2020-09-01 09:50 pm (UTC)She does. I told her pretty soon after we became official. She's very happy I've found someone. I haven't figured out how to tell her about Joe though she knows he's my best friend.
[ His mom was pretty much the opposite of his dad which was why they had gotten a divorce. His mom would say his dad wasn't always like that but Booker had a hard time believing her. ]
She's also a fantastic baker so you'll get along great.
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Date: 2020-09-01 09:56 pm (UTC)Maybe I will be able to pick up a few things. Learn some secret recipe that will win me any argument.
[He was still smiling, but the teasing had no edge to it. Just words to keep the conversation going in a nice, safe direction. He didn't want to talk about things. He didn't want to think about things. He just wanted to bask in the light of his boyfriend's love and soak it in like he was starved for it.]
I won't bring up Joe if you don't want me to, but can we still call him later?
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Date: 2020-09-01 10:00 pm (UTC)[ Booker knows Nicky was avoiding the issue but that was fine for now. He'd let him get away with it. ]
Of course we can. I already told him I thought something was up so he's probably waiting for a call.
[ There was no way they'd keep Joe out of this. Booker knew this would only work if they made sure to communicate with each other, open and honest.
He'd be really worried if Nicky suggested they hide it from Joe. ]
While we're getting you settled in my room we can do it.
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Date: 2020-09-01 10:07 pm (UTC)Now, though, he just really wanted to talk to the other man that he loved so much.
At the mention of 'settling' him into Booker's room, Nicky looked worried again.]
I really don't have to invade her house, Booker. I don't want to be troublesome and I certainly don't want to just assume that I'll be allowed to stay... What if she doesn't like me?
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Date: 2020-09-01 10:14 pm (UTC)[ Booker got his softer side from his mother. She wouldn't dream of kicking Nicky out when he was hurt and had no where else to go.
They pulled out outside a small two-story house in a little suburb. His mom's place. Booker paid the cab driver and helped Nicky get his stuff. He made sure to take one of the bags and hold Nicky's hand as they walked to the front door. ]
Hi mom! [ Booker called when he walked in.
She was a pretty middle aged woman with the same color hair and eyes as Booker. She was clearly confused as to why her son was home on a weekend but did ask immediately what had happened to Nicky and then went to the kitchen to get some ice for his eye. ]
See? Nothing to worry about.
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Date: 2020-09-01 10:32 pm (UTC)Even in America, he'd never been entirely comfortable around parental type people. Even Joe's parents, who'd been nothing but accepting and wonderful. It was a hard mindset to break.
Taking a breath to steady himself, Nicky closed his hand a little tighter around Booker's.]
This is one of those 'shut up and say thank you' moments, isn't it?
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Date: 2020-09-01 10:37 pm (UTC)[ But Booker could see Nicky was uncomfortable. He took the ice from his mom and explained Nicky needed a place to stay. She agreed just like Booker said she would which gave him the chance to lead Nicky upstairs to his bedroom.
He made Nicky sit on the bed and put the ice on his eye while Booker put his stuff down. ]
Okay, so you can stay here. I'll be here for the weekend obviously.
[ Booker sat down next to Nicky and put an arm around him. ]
We'll figure out what else needs to be done later. Right now, just relax. You're safe and I'm with you. You don't have to worry about a thing anymore Nicky.
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Date: 2020-09-01 10:57 pm (UTC)[It was perhaps a little stiffer than any 18 year old boy should manage, but he still managed to get it out when she returned to hand him the ice. And, more importantly, he meant it. He just didn't know how to articulate it.
For as loud and large and welcoming as Italian families were supposed to be, Nicky's had been the opposite. He'd brought his friends to meet them, but had only stayed a few hours to let the girls poke through his room and let Joe and Booker go through his books.
In those few short hours, Booker would have very plainly seen exactly why Nicky was so formal with his mother.
Escaping up to the bedroom that he was meant to stay in was a relief and Nicky leaned heavily against his boyfriend, trusting his arm to keep him safe and secure.]
I'm sorry I'm like this... She probably thinks me inconsiderate.
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Date: 2020-09-01 11:01 pm (UTC)[ He pressed his lips against Nicky's temple and left them there. ]
Always thinking the worse. She doesn't. She's worried about you like she worried about me when things were bad.
[ And things were bad. Nicky's spark was real dull right now and Booker hated seeing him like this.
Even if Nicky would tell Joe not to bother he'd pitch in to get their boyfriend a plane ticket to come here. Nicky needed their support right now. ]
Do you want to call Joe now?
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Date: 2020-09-01 11:15 pm (UTC)At the question of calling Joe, he immediately nodded, then winced a little as the ice pack was jostled against his eye. No doubt Booker would use a video call instead of just sticking to voice. There would be no hiding, though Nicky was okay with that.
He was done hiding. He wanted his boyfriends, even if that meant Joe's anger.]
Yeah, I really do. I miss his face...
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