For transfuge

[peace_inthe_violence]

[Yep, still empty.]

Comments

[transfuge]

[ Booker went over and wrapped his arms around Nicky, holding him close. ]

There's more with us in memories and digital pictures. This isn't all you are.

[ He pressed his lips to the corner of Nicky's mouth, trying to reassure him. ]

We're going to make so much more together. Joe and I will spoil you rotten.

[ When they had the money to allow it. Booker would get Nicky little things in the meantime that weren't expensive but meant something. ]

[peace_inthe_violence]

I don't need to be spoiled, mio amore.

[He turned in Booker's arms, chasing his lips until he could claim a proper kiss. He didn't realize that it was the first time he'd initiated the contact between them since he'd gotten off the train. He probably never would.

But he did initiate it. He wanted it.

Resting his forehead on Booker's shoulder, he looped his arms around the other boy's waist to hold him close.]

I just want to be loved. And I am. With you and with Joe, I am. You are my life now. My heart, divided up in two.

[transfuge]

No one needs to be spoiled but I'd like to spoil you.

[ There's a little bit of Nicky back to normal. Booker smiled softly after the kiss and nuzzled into Nicky's hair. ]

I like that. You've got half of mine and Joe's got the other half.

[ That might actually inspire a bit of art. Booker needed to find the right building but it'd be cool and something for both his loves. ]

We could borrow my mom's car and go pick up Joe tomorrow morning if you're not too tired.

[peace_inthe_violence]

[One day, Nicky was going to love the building that told the world of their love. One day, he'd do his best to work near it. For now, however, he could only love the mind that would paint it.

He inhaled Booker's scent and let it calm him, closing his eyes against the pain that was still so deep in his chest.]

I'd like that, even if I am tired. I want to see him. I want you both.

[He'd never ask to be held. Not in so many words.

After a moment, he pulled away and ran his hands through his hair before turning back to the things on the bed.]

Can I use a shelf? My clothes can stay in the bags as far as I'm concerned, but I'd like to keep the books in good condition.

[transfuge]

You are so selfless.

[ Booker went over to his dresser, pulled open a drawer and took the few pieces of clothing he didn't take to college out. They got moved to another drawer. ]

Here, you can have that. And if it's not enough room we'll make room in the closet.

[ Actually, he goes to check the closet. Yeah, they can fit more clothes. ]

And you know I'll never say no to more books. Make room for those wherever you want.

[peace_inthe_violence]

I would not call me that, but thank you.

[He smirked, still looking a little tired, but at least that was closer to a smile.

Picking up most of his clothes, he put them away tightly but neatly, nodding a little in satisfaction when they fit in the single drawer. What was left were his few nice shirts and a pair of slacks. Interview clothes, so to speak. Those, he motioned at the closet for.]

Do you mind if I hang these? I'll need them when I go job hunting.

[transfuge]

[ Booker sat on the edge of the bed and let Nicky make himself at home. It filled him with a real warmth, a contentment that he rarely felt before.

This was what he wanted for the rest of his life. It'd be nice this sort of love and comfort. ]

No, you do what you need to do. I've got my stuff at school so I won't be using the space.

[ Until the summer.

Booker wasn't worried about that though. There was a lot of time before they needed to think about summer. ]

[peace_inthe_violence]

[If Nicky was still at Booker's mom's house come summer, then something went very, very wrong. He had every intention of getting a job and getting an apartment, even if it was just a shitty studio.

He hated being an imposition, and no matter how much Booker reassured him, he was going to always feel like that.

Hanging his nice things, he made sure they sat right on the hangers before he closed the closet door and headed over to the bookshelf.]

Do you have these in order by title or author?

[transfuge]

They're by period and style.

[ Which is super nerdy and makes Booker kind of blush a little. Who organizes their books by period and style?

He gets up from the bed and goes over to Nicky. ]

I can make room so you've got a shelf for your own. You don't have to throw them in with mine.

[ And his weird organizing system.

He'll have to rearrange his books a bit but that was fine to let Nicky have some space. ]

[peace_inthe_violence]

[That was....delightfully nerdy and Nicky's smirk finally widened to his first full on smile since he'd gotten there.]

But won't they end up together anyway, mio amore? Unless you plan on each of us having separate shelves for all of our books?

[In their house that they were going to get together. Because at least the three of them were going to live together, if not all six. Right?]

[transfuge]

I mean... you don't have to, like, put them up like I do. It's just my system, you know?

[ He rubbed the back of his neck with a hand as he smiled sheepishly at Nicky. ]

But yeah, they'll all get mixed up anyway. So, you're probably right. I'm just being weird. Do you need help with them?

[ If he's going to fit them in Booker's system he should probably help with that.

Not that Nicky didn't know what type of books he had but he might not understand Booker's system right away. ]

I'm being a dork about this. I'm just going to sit on the bed and let you do whatever.

[peace_inthe_violence]

[But before Booker could get up to leave him at the shelf alone, Nicky reached out to snag his wrist.]

No...stay? Show me? I want to know.

[And he did want to know. He wanted to know Booker's organization and exactly how Joe organized his paints. How much milk Joe put in his coffee and the exact way Booker liked to get ready for bed at night. He wanted to know all of it.

And right now, putting his books in alongside Booker's made him feel more grounded than he'd been feeling all week.]

[transfuge]

Oh. Uh. Okay.

[ Booker went back to Nicky's side and talked him through it.

It was pretty simple. He had them organized by style which was usually divided by the year the books were written.

He loved books and his passion for them came through very clearly as he talked about where to put each of Nicky's book and why they should be there.

He probably should be studying literature but he liked computers just as much. ]

And there you go. That's the really stupid and overly complex way I organize my books.

[peace_inthe_violence]

[He loved it. The specific nature of it, the fact that you could immediately find what you were looking for as long as you knew the book you wanted. He learned quickly, and while he wasn't quite as good as his boyfriend at figuring out style, he could piece it out quickly enough once he had parameters.

And then his books were all in place, slotted in next to Booker's like they belonged there...and he had to look away or risk crying all over again. Damn his inability to function.]

Thank you. For showing me. I know it seems silly to you, but it is important to me to know these things.

[transfuge]

Yeah, books are my kink.

[ He was still slightly embarrassed by it all. It was more of himself than he had shared with anyone else.

It was a weird mix of vulnerability and excitement. Nicky knew this weird part of him and didn't make fun of him for it. He liked it even. ]

You can keep them there as long as you like.

[ He leaned over and kissed Nicky's cheek. ]

[peace_inthe_violence]

[He was about to say something that would be horribly embarrassing. Something like 'I want them to stay like that forever' or some other ridiculous, sappy thing.

Fortunately, the kiss to his cheek startled him out of it.]

I love you. Book kink and all.

[transfuge]

It's why Andy gave me the nickname Book. I changed it to Booker.

[ Before Andy he just went by Sebastien pronounced wrong by everyone he knew because they couldn't be bothered to use the proper French.

He puts his arm around Nicky's shoulder and hugs him. ]

Anything else you want to unpack right now or do you want to get ready for bed?

[peace_inthe_violence]

Really? I figured it was just a play of your name. This makes sense, though.

[He smirked, leaning into his boyfriend before glancing back over at the bed.]

That is most of it. What is left are things that can go anywhere. I can find places to plug in their cords tomorrow. Right now, I think getting ready for bed is a good idea.

I feel like all I've done is sleep, yet sleep is all I want...

[transfuge]

It's probably both but she said it's because I read all the time when we first met.

[ He kissed Nicky's temple. ]

You went through something really emotionally taxing. It's exhausting. You need the sleep while you feel safe.

[ Booker left behind the bookshelf and went to get a shirt to sleep in. ]

Do you want me to hold you again?

[peace_inthe_violence]

This is not the first time this has happened. Well...the hitting part. This is the first time I actually left.

[Was that it? Was that why he was so tired? He had no idea.

Getting up from the floor, he followed Booker over to the dresser to pull out a pair of shorts and his faded, stretched out Pride shirt.]

I always want you to hold me, mio cuore. If you don't mind me clinging, of course.

[transfuge]

What?

[ Booker seemed stunned for a second. Nicky's dad had hit him before? Had Nicky been abused this whole time and none of them noticed?

Had he just assumed it was only emotional abuse like he suffered and ignored other signs? ]

Nicky... fuck I'm so sorry we didn't see it sooner.

[ He had to go hug him tight like his love could protect Nicky from his past.

Booker promised himself he'd never let anyone hurt Nicky ever again. Anyone tried and he'd teach them a lesson. ]

I sleep a lot better when we're cuddling. It's how I'd like to sleep all the time if I got a choice.

[peace_inthe_violence]

[He looked a little surprised at the hug, but he leaned into it regardless.]

It's okay. It only happened a couple of times and this was the worst. I'm fine. It's fine, mio cuore.

[He shifted enough to be able to sneak a kiss in against Booker's forehead, murmuring softly to reassure him.]

It's how I'd like to always sleep, too. Your arms around me and listening to you and Joe breathing as my lullaby.

[transfuge]

It's not okay! He should have never laid a hand on you!

[ Well, there was Booker's anger finally coming to the surface. ]

He abused you Nicky. Nothing justifies that. And he should be punished for it. You never have to go anywhere near him ever again.

[ The soft reassurance does cool his temper a little but Booker won't let Nicky say it's fine. It wasn't. It was awful.

They might have that therapy talk sooner rather than later. ]

He'll agree with me when he gets here. You are going to be constantly cuddled.

[peace_inthe_violence]

[Considering how little he seemed bothered by the whole thing, the therapy talk was probably a very good talk to have. He had a pretty low opinion of himself. Honestly, the fact that he'd believed that Booker and Joe actually wanted him around was kind of a huge thing for him.

He kissed his temple again, chuckling softly.]

Between the two of you, I'm going to be wrapped in bubble wrap. I'm not a doll made of porcelain. I promise, I'm not going to shatter.

[Tell that to his eyes that can't seem to stop springing leaks.]

[transfuge]

I know you're strong. But you don't have to be around us. We're not going to stop loving you.

[ Booker was pretty sure nothing would stop him from loving Nicky or Joe. It was part of him down to his marrow. ]

We'll talk about this with Joe tomorrow.

[ He slid his hands under Nicky's shirt, no seduction in mind. Booker wanted to care for him a little and help him undress. ]

Because we love you and we're going to look after you.