He leaned against Booker's side as they fussed over him, closing his eyes and letting their voices soothe his frayed nerves. It had been what he'd been doing all week and it never failed to settle the swirling mix of anger and pain and crushing defeat that was in his head.
The question of what happened made him frown though, and he shrugged one shoulder.]
There isn't much to tell. I withdrew from seminary and they called the house to confirm. He took the call and was furious that I had done it. I told him why and he didn't like the answer. That's it. Nothing but a bitter man with hard fists.
[ Booker felt the first swell of rage in his chest. That bastard. He wrapped his arm more firmly around Nicky like he could somehow shield him from an event that already happened.
Joe asked a very important question: did he hit you anywhere else? Shit, Booker hadn't even thought of that. Was Nicky hurt elsewhere? ]
You're not hurt anywhere else, right? No busted ribs or anything?
[ His mind went to the worst options, of course, because that's what Booker did when he worried.
It was stupid though because Nicky wouldn't have been able to carry his stuff or pack with busted ribs. ]
[He fought the urge to roll his eyes a little at their fussing, shaking his head against Booker's shoulder.]
No, miei amori. No broken ribs. He grabbed my shoulders and shoved me around, but those are already fading.
[And just to prove it to his worried partners, he sat up and pulled off the over sized long sleeve shirt he'd been wearing. His skin was pale and unmarked save for bruises high on his upper arms and a few hints of what could have been something on his shoulder blades when he turned to show them his back.]
[ Booker's rage was incandescent for a moment seeing those fading bruises on Nicky's arms and shoulders. It was his worst nightmare come to life just on Nicky instead of himself which made it worse. ]
Oh... Nicky.
[ He would find a way to get revenge for this and make Nicky's dad suffer. It wouldn't be fast. Booker could nurse a grudge for a long time but as much as he wanted to hurt the bastard Nicky needs care first.
Booker leaned in and pressed gentle kisses against his shoulders and arms. It soothed him and he hoped comforted Nicky a little bit. ]
We're going to make sure nothing like this ever happens to you again. I promise.
[It did comfort him. A lot more than he expected it to, actually. Each kiss sent a jolt through him that seemed to unlock the part of himself that he'd locked away to protect from his father, and by the last kiss, Nicky was pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes again to stop the leak that had started.]
I'm fine...I am. I just...I'm tired.
[He was defiantly trying to convince himself more than he was convincing Booker and Joe.
He pulled his shirt back on, sniffling a little to help keep his emotions in check.]
[ Booker wrapped his arms around Nicky and pulled him to lie down. He reached over him and carefully propped his phone up against the lamp on his nightstand so Joe could see them.
Joe had the most tender expression on his face. Booker could also see the longing in his eyes. He wanted to be there with them. ]
You get some rest. Joe and I are watching over you. Nothing can hurt you now.
[ He trailed a few more tender kisses against Nicky's neck and made sure his arms were nice and secure around Nicky. ]
[He felt like all he'd been doing since getting on the train the night before had been sleeping. He dozed on the train, he dozed in the taxi...but here? Still and wrapped in Booker's arms with Joe's voice in his hears, he didn't doze.
He slept.
The exhaustion of the week caught up to him all at once. The nights spent in his bedroom, staring at his door and waiting for it to open. The days spent on high alert, always listening for the sound of a slamming door or a grumbled voice. He hadn't had a single moment to really relax. Even on the train he'd felt the need to keep one eye open to protect himself. Just in case.
In Booker's arms, he was safe. Nothing could hurt him with his loves there to watch for him.
[ And once Nicky was asleep Booker grabbed the phone and spoke softly with Joe while they made arraignments. He would be in Paris by tomorrow morning. It was a red eye flight for him but worth it.
Booker promised to look after Nicky and keep him safe until Joe got there. They would just relax with comfort food, soft touches, and words of love. They ended the call with the promise to see each other soon.
He didn't sleep while Nicky slept just emailed his professors to say he had a family emergency and wouldn't be in class on Monday.
There, everything was wrapped up nicely to look after Nicky. ]
[He would have glared at his two conspiring lovers if he'd been awake. He didn't need all this fussing, honestly. But he wasn't awake.
He wasn't awake for a long time, actually.
He'd arrived in Paris at 3 pm and they'd made it Booker's mom's no later than 4. An hour talking to her, another talking to Joe and Nicky must have passed out at around 6 at the latest.
He woke up with the sun just starting to kiss the horizon.
He was stiff as hell and was starving, but the most pressing piece of information his body had for him was that he needed to pee. Badly. It was the only thing that could have gotten him out of Booker's arms, if he was honest with himself. He moved quietly and careful, doing his best to not jostle his boyfriend as he slid out of bed and tiptoed out of the room.]
[ Booker lifted his arms so that Nicky could get out of them easier. ]
And dinner's waiting downstairs. [ He waved his phone. ] My mom texted me.
[ He had also beaten a few levels in the latest puzzle game he downloaded. It was a good just to be there and let Nicky nap against him. He felt pretty relaxed even though he hadn't gotten a nap. ]
I'll meet you downstairs, okay? Feel free to borrow any of the clothes I've got here if you want.
[ Booker stretched as he got out of bed and headed to have a nice home cooked meal. ]
[He startled a second, eyes going wide as he caught. He'd thought that Booker had been asleep and that way he was still there, still letting Nicky use him as a pillow. His need to take his bladder for a walk had made him not look and so the sudden voice was completely unexpected. He stiffed for a moment on reflex, but slowly relaxed as he turned to look at Booker.]
I..okay. Sorry if I woke you up. I'll be down in a minute.
[He seemed a little less worked up at least.
He was still in the same clothes when he finally came downstairs, though he had straightened himself out a little to look a little less slept in. He paused at the entrance to the kitchen, for a moment looking like he was going to chicken out and run right back to the safety of Booker's room, but then he was crossing his arms around himself and clearing his throat.]
I- I wanted to apologize for how I acted when I first got here. I really do appreciate you letting me stay here. I can pay a little, too. For my food.
[ Booker sat at the kitchen table with a good plate of food. His mom was also there and she listened while Nicky apologized.
And then told him he had nothing to apologize for. He had been through something awful and only a heartless monster would turn him away now. She invited him to sit down and eat.
He didn't need to help but if he insisted she would make him do the dishes. Booker was awful at remembering to do them. ]
Hey! Don't sell me out like that, mom.
[ She playfully ruffled his hair while Booker tried to dodge. This was the loving side of his family. ]
[It warmed his heart to see Booker playing around with the older woman. He'd met his dad, after all. He'd seen how miserable Booker had been in that house. He'd been able to relate.
Here, though, Booker was smiling and it brought one of those shy little smiles to Nicky's lips as well as he slid into a chair across from his boyfriend. Across, not next to. It would be a long while before he felt comfortable with any kind of PDA again.
Accepting a plate of his own, he nibbled at it dutifully..then visibly perked up and started to eat with much more enthusiasm.]
This is wonderful. Very good. I will happily do the dishes, of course.
[ It was a simple dinner of lemon and garlic chicken with potato and a little side salad. Simple and easy.
Booker's mom, of course, was curious about her son's boyfriend but tonight was clearly not the night to ask personal questions. ]
She's going to like you better than me.
[ Under the table Booker gently nudged his foot against Nicky's just a little sign of physical contact if he wanted it.
His mom would tell stories of Booker's childhood. Good ones about silly things he did and of course she got out the baby photos. Anything to distract the young man who had suffered unfairly. ]
[It would take him a while to really relax around Booker's mother. He had never really relaxed around even Joe's parents, even. Though, if he was going to be staying there, then he'd have to come out of his shell eventually. Even if it was just when Booker was there to coax him out of it.
He smiled at the stories and asked questions as needed, but mostly he was content to just listen to them banter back and forth. Eventually, he excused himself and moved to do the dishes. He washed everything and dried it all, but he had to stop and give Booker a pleading look at that point.]
[ Booker got up from the table and rubbed his hand up and down Nicky's back. It was a little sad to see Nicky scared to use pet names but he wouldn't push.
Nicky would need time to be comfortable here. Booker would do his best to help him along.
He showed him where things went while he helped him put away the dishes, occasionally gently touching his hand for a moment or brushing his arm. It wasn't like his mom scolded them for it. She actually left to go watch the news. ]
So you're comfortable, right? You feel okay to stay here even if I'm not? She's not an asshole like our dads.
[Once she left, he relaxed into those touches, though he kept them all short and discreet. She seemed as excepting as Booker said, but it was ingrained habit.]
Sì, mio amore. I am fine. I-I will be fine. She seems like a wonderful woman and I'm grateful that she is in your life.
[He took a risk and cupped Booker's cheek, running his thumb along his cheekbone before dropping his hand.]
Besides, this will not be for long. I fully intend on getting a job as soon as.. this [He gestured at his face] is gone.
She is. She's helped me through the darkest times in my life.
[ Booker gently drew Nicky into his arms and hugged him tight for a long minute. Then he left him go since he was still adjusting. ]
Okay. A job sounds good. What kind of job were you thinking?
[ A job wasn't a bad idea. It would keep Nicky busy but he hoped he would also look into further schooling. Nicky was so smart and he wanted to help. He could do so much with the right opportunity. ]
Come on, let's go back upstairs and get some of your stuff unpacked. You'll be a lot more comfortable not living out of your bags.
[The hug was welcome and Nicky leaned back into it, but the release was just as welcome. He gave his boyfriend a relieved smile, gratitude in his eyes.
He didn't want Booker to think that just because he was twitchy meant that he didn't want him around.]
Probably nothing all that important. A gas station or something. Just something to get me back on my feet so I can start thinking about school. It's too late for me to enroll now, I'm sure.
[At least he was still planning on going to school, even if he didn't know exactly what he wanted to do just yet.
Glancing around the kitchen, he double checked that everything was as spotless as possible, then nodded and headed for the stairs.]
Why not something you enjoy? Like cooking or baking?
[ He lets his mom know they're going upstairs and she wishes them both a goodnight. She'll have a private talk with her son later about what sort of behavior she expects while he's here staying with his boyfriend. ]
Yeah, you probably can't enroll but maybe you can sit in on some classes. It might help you figure out what you want to study.
[ When they're back in his room Booker closes the door but he doesn't lock it. There's no need in his mom's place. ]
I will try at many different places. I have a little left over from what I saved up for the summer, but I want to give most of it to your mother for letting me stay here. And the rest is probably going to go for Joe's ticket.
[Speaking of Joe's ticket. He turned to eye the other boy, frowning a little. For a moment he considered being upset that they'd go behind his back like that, but in the end he just sighed and nodded.]
I'm still going to give him my share. I would be mad...but I can admit that it will be good to see him that soon.
[Something in his chest loosened and he ran his hands through his hair to soothe himself a bit before he hauled one of those overstuffed duffles up onto the bed. Most of it was clothes, but packed in between articles of clothing were his books. Padded like that, there was nothing sharp to bang into his hips when he walked. It also kept them from getting beat up on the train. None of them were anything like some of the ones that Booker had, but he took care of his collections.]
You really don't have to give her money. She'll appreciate it more if you help around the house.
[ Booker grabbed the other bag and started to unpack it carefully. He stacks the clothes in one pile and the books in another. ]
Look, Joe appreciated you worrying but... would you stay in Italy if our positions were reversed? If my dad hit me? [ The answer, he knew, would be no. ] Joe needs to be here for you and for him.
[ And Joe would probably not take Nicky's money too. ]
[He was surrounded by stubborn fools. Fortunately, two of them were stubborn fools that he loved.
He worked quietly for a while, separating the contents of his duffle into they're respective piles. When it was done, he dropped the empty canvas and grabbed his backpack to unpack it.
The end result of all three bags was about a weeks worth of clothes, maybe a shelf's worth of books, his laptop, his phone, and they're assorted cords. His entire life, laid out and barely taking up half of the bed.]
[He turned in Booker's arms, chasing his lips until he could claim a proper kiss. He didn't realize that it was the first time he'd initiated the contact between them since he'd gotten off the train. He probably never would.
But he did initiate it. He wanted it.
Resting his forehead on Booker's shoulder, he looped his arms around the other boy's waist to hold him close.]
I just want to be loved. And I am. With you and with Joe, I am. You are my life now. My heart, divided up in two.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He leaned against Booker's side as they fussed over him, closing his eyes and letting their voices soothe his frayed nerves. It had been what he'd been doing all week and it never failed to settle the swirling mix of anger and pain and crushing defeat that was in his head.
The question of what happened made him frown though, and he shrugged one shoulder.]
There isn't much to tell. I withdrew from seminary and they called the house to confirm. He took the call and was furious that I had done it. I told him why and he didn't like the answer. That's it. Nothing but a bitter man with hard fists.
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Joe asked a very important question: did he hit you anywhere else? Shit, Booker hadn't even thought of that. Was Nicky hurt elsewhere? ]
You're not hurt anywhere else, right? No busted ribs or anything?
[ His mind went to the worst options, of course, because that's what Booker did when he worried.
It was stupid though because Nicky wouldn't have been able to carry his stuff or pack with busted ribs. ]
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No, miei amori. No broken ribs. He grabbed my shoulders and shoved me around, but those are already fading.
[And just to prove it to his worried partners, he sat up and pulled off the over sized long sleeve shirt he'd been wearing. His skin was pale and unmarked save for bruises high on his upper arms and a few hints of what could have been something on his shoulder blades when he turned to show them his back.]
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Oh... Nicky.
[ He would find a way to get revenge for this and make Nicky's dad suffer. It wouldn't be fast. Booker could nurse a grudge for a long time but as much as he wanted to hurt the bastard Nicky needs care first.
Booker leaned in and pressed gentle kisses against his shoulders and arms. It soothed him and he hoped comforted Nicky a little bit. ]
We're going to make sure nothing like this ever happens to you again. I promise.
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I'm fine...I am. I just...I'm tired.
[He was defiantly trying to convince himself more than he was convincing Booker and Joe.
He pulled his shirt back on, sniffling a little to help keep his emotions in check.]
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[ Booker wrapped his arms around Nicky and pulled him to lie down. He reached over him and carefully propped his phone up against the lamp on his nightstand so Joe could see them.
Joe had the most tender expression on his face. Booker could also see the longing in his eyes. He wanted to be there with them. ]
You get some rest. Joe and I are watching over you. Nothing can hurt you now.
[ He trailed a few more tender kisses against Nicky's neck and made sure his arms were nice and secure around Nicky. ]
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He slept.
The exhaustion of the week caught up to him all at once. The nights spent in his bedroom, staring at his door and waiting for it to open. The days spent on high alert, always listening for the sound of a slamming door or a grumbled voice. He hadn't had a single moment to really relax. Even on the train he'd felt the need to keep one eye open to protect himself. Just in case.
In Booker's arms, he was safe. Nothing could hurt him with his loves there to watch for him.
He slept. Hard.]
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Booker promised to look after Nicky and keep him safe until Joe got there. They would just relax with comfort food, soft touches, and words of love. They ended the call with the promise to see each other soon.
He didn't sleep while Nicky slept just emailed his professors to say he had a family emergency and wouldn't be in class on Monday.
There, everything was wrapped up nicely to look after Nicky. ]
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He wasn't awake for a long time, actually.
He'd arrived in Paris at 3 pm and they'd made it Booker's mom's no later than 4. An hour talking to her, another talking to Joe and Nicky must have passed out at around 6 at the latest.
He woke up with the sun just starting to kiss the horizon.
He was stiff as hell and was starving, but the most pressing piece of information his body had for him was that he needed to pee. Badly. It was the only thing that could have gotten him out of Booker's arms, if he was honest with himself. He moved quietly and careful, doing his best to not jostle his boyfriend as he slid out of bed and tiptoed out of the room.]
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[ Booker lifted his arms so that Nicky could get out of them easier. ]
And dinner's waiting downstairs. [ He waved his phone. ] My mom texted me.
[ He had also beaten a few levels in the latest puzzle game he downloaded. It was a good just to be there and let Nicky nap against him. He felt pretty relaxed even though he hadn't gotten a nap. ]
I'll meet you downstairs, okay? Feel free to borrow any of the clothes I've got here if you want.
[ Booker stretched as he got out of bed and headed to have a nice home cooked meal. ]
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I..okay. Sorry if I woke you up. I'll be down in a minute.
[He seemed a little less worked up at least.
He was still in the same clothes when he finally came downstairs, though he had straightened himself out a little to look a little less slept in. He paused at the entrance to the kitchen, for a moment looking like he was going to chicken out and run right back to the safety of Booker's room, but then he was crossing his arms around himself and clearing his throat.]
I- I wanted to apologize for how I acted when I first got here. I really do appreciate you letting me stay here. I can pay a little, too. For my food.
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And then told him he had nothing to apologize for. He had been through something awful and only a heartless monster would turn him away now. She invited him to sit down and eat.
He didn't need to help but if he insisted she would make him do the dishes. Booker was awful at remembering to do them. ]
Hey! Don't sell me out like that, mom.
[ She playfully ruffled his hair while Booker tried to dodge. This was the loving side of his family. ]
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Here, though, Booker was smiling and it brought one of those shy little smiles to Nicky's lips as well as he slid into a chair across from his boyfriend. Across, not next to. It would be a long while before he felt comfortable with any kind of PDA again.
Accepting a plate of his own, he nibbled at it dutifully..then visibly perked up and started to eat with much more enthusiasm.]
This is wonderful. Very good. I will happily do the dishes, of course.
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Booker's mom, of course, was curious about her son's boyfriend but tonight was clearly not the night to ask personal questions. ]
She's going to like you better than me.
[ Under the table Booker gently nudged his foot against Nicky's just a little sign of physical contact if he wanted it.
His mom would tell stories of Booker's childhood. Good ones about silly things he did and of course she got out the baby photos. Anything to distract the young man who had suffered unfairly. ]
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He smiled at the stories and asked questions as needed, but mostly he was content to just listen to them banter back and forth. Eventually, he excused himself and moved to do the dishes. He washed everything and dried it all, but he had to stop and give Booker a pleading look at that point.]
I don't know where things go, mi- Booker.
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[ Booker got up from the table and rubbed his hand up and down Nicky's back. It was a little sad to see Nicky scared to use pet names but he wouldn't push.
Nicky would need time to be comfortable here. Booker would do his best to help him along.
He showed him where things went while he helped him put away the dishes, occasionally gently touching his hand for a moment or brushing his arm. It wasn't like his mom scolded them for it. She actually left to go watch the news. ]
So you're comfortable, right? You feel okay to stay here even if I'm not? She's not an asshole like our dads.
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Sì, mio amore. I am fine. I-I will be fine. She seems like a wonderful woman and I'm grateful that she is in your life.
[He took a risk and cupped Booker's cheek, running his thumb along his cheekbone before dropping his hand.]
Besides, this will not be for long. I fully intend on getting a job as soon as.. this [He gestured at his face] is gone.
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[ Booker gently drew Nicky into his arms and hugged him tight for a long minute. Then he left him go since he was still adjusting. ]
Okay. A job sounds good. What kind of job were you thinking?
[ A job wasn't a bad idea. It would keep Nicky busy but he hoped he would also look into further schooling. Nicky was so smart and he wanted to help. He could do so much with the right opportunity. ]
Come on, let's go back upstairs and get some of your stuff unpacked. You'll be a lot more comfortable not living out of your bags.
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He didn't want Booker to think that just because he was twitchy meant that he didn't want him around.]
Probably nothing all that important. A gas station or something. Just something to get me back on my feet so I can start thinking about school. It's too late for me to enroll now, I'm sure.
[At least he was still planning on going to school, even if he didn't know exactly what he wanted to do just yet.
Glancing around the kitchen, he double checked that everything was as spotless as possible, then nodded and headed for the stairs.]
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[ He lets his mom know they're going upstairs and she wishes them both a goodnight. She'll have a private talk with her son later about what sort of behavior she expects while he's here staying with his boyfriend. ]
Yeah, you probably can't enroll but maybe you can sit in on some classes. It might help you figure out what you want to study.
[ When they're back in his room Booker closes the door but he doesn't lock it. There's no need in his mom's place. ]
Oh, and Joe will get here tomorrow morning at 5.
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[Speaking of Joe's ticket. He turned to eye the other boy, frowning a little. For a moment he considered being upset that they'd go behind his back like that, but in the end he just sighed and nodded.]
I'm still going to give him my share. I would be mad...but I can admit that it will be good to see him that soon.
[Something in his chest loosened and he ran his hands through his hair to soothe himself a bit before he hauled one of those overstuffed duffles up onto the bed. Most of it was clothes, but packed in between articles of clothing were his books. Padded like that, there was nothing sharp to bang into his hips when he walked. It also kept them from getting beat up on the train. None of them were anything like some of the ones that Booker had, but he took care of his collections.]
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[ Booker grabbed the other bag and started to unpack it carefully. He stacks the clothes in one pile and the books in another. ]
Look, Joe appreciated you worrying but... would you stay in Italy if our positions were reversed? If my dad hit me? [ The answer, he knew, would be no. ] Joe needs to be here for you and for him.
[ And Joe would probably not take Nicky's money too. ]
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He worked quietly for a while, separating the contents of his duffle into they're respective piles. When it was done, he dropped the empty canvas and grabbed his backpack to unpack it.
The end result of all three bags was about a weeks worth of clothes, maybe a shelf's worth of books, his laptop, his phone, and they're assorted cords. His entire life, laid out and barely taking up half of the bed.]
You'd think there would be more...
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There's more with us in memories and digital pictures. This isn't all you are.
[ He pressed his lips to the corner of Nicky's mouth, trying to reassure him. ]
We're going to make so much more together. Joe and I will spoil you rotten.
[ When they had the money to allow it. Booker would get Nicky little things in the meantime that weren't expensive but meant something. ]
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[He turned in Booker's arms, chasing his lips until he could claim a proper kiss. He didn't realize that it was the first time he'd initiated the contact between them since he'd gotten off the train. He probably never would.
But he did initiate it. He wanted it.
Resting his forehead on Booker's shoulder, he looped his arms around the other boy's waist to hold him close.]
I just want to be loved. And I am. With you and with Joe, I am. You are my life now. My heart, divided up in two.
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