peace_inthe_violence | For transfuge

Uh, it's probably not fair to do this without asking him how he feels about it... you know, without him.

[ As much as he wanted to fool around with Nicky right now Booker loved Joe just as much. He didn't want to hurt Joe on accident because he was thinking with his dick and nothing else. ]

We can still kiss though, right? You're okay with that?

[ So, no blowjob today which... fuck that sucked but Booker hoped they could kiss and keep touching.

Then once they worked things out with Joe... maybe blowjob. Fingers crossed for that one. ]

[And the same went for Nicky. He loved Booker and wanted to touch him more than he'd ever wanted to touch anyone, but he felt the same about Joe and the idea of hurting the other man just because he was impatient? No. He had lived without caring about sex for 17 years of his life, he could handle however much longer until Joe could join them.

Or at least until Joe got tired of their stupidity and set up a video call.]

Kissing should be fine, sì. After all, he kissed me at the airport when you didn't.

[And just to prove it, he kissed Booker again. It was long and slow, but chaste enough to not be too much of a tease. He hoped.]

Besides, maybe it is for the best. It can give me time to read up on all of this so I'm not as bad at it.

Shut up. I was scared.

[ Booker tucked his face against Nicky's neck to hide his embarrassed blush. He knew Nicky didn't mean to make fun of him but Booker was pretty embarrassed about it. He had hugged Nicky fiercely and should have kissed him but he froze. It was so stupid.

Booker took his hand out from under Nicky's shirt. Skin on skin was probably too much of a temptation right now. Kissing was good enough for now. ]

I think practice is the best way to get better at sex but if you want to read up while I go shower you can use my laptop.

[ He kissed Nicky again, then again, a few light quick kisses. Booker really liked this. ]

[Booker wasn't the only one. Each kiss sent a little shiver of sparks down into his stomach and and he was very rapidly becoming addicted to the sensation.

Though, that would be assuming that he hadn't already been addicted after all the kisses from the summer before. Which he very, very much was.

Pulling back enough to rest their foreheads together, he smiled.]

As much as you'd like to come back from the shower to me watching certain videos, I also need a shower. Badly. I will need to use your soap, if you don't mind. I forgot to bring my own.

That would be really hot, yeah.

[ He wasn't going to deny how sexy he thought Nicky was. There was no point when his feelings were pretty obvious.

Booker nuzzled his nose against Nicky's. ]

You go shower first then. I don't trust myself to behave if we're in a shower together.

[ They wouldn't exactly shower together because there were separate stalls but knowing Nicky was right there and naked?

Booker only had so much self control. ]

You can use whatever of mine you want.

[He hid his blush by kissing him again. Surely Booker couldn't notice if they were kissing, right?]

If Joe calls while I'm in the shower, go ahead and tell him. Just be sure to tell me his reaction.

[One more final kiss and then he was rolling to sit up and grabbing his bag. He stripped off his shirt and pointedly did not look at Booker's face as he moved around the room to gather the things he'd need for his shower. He ended up folding a towel over his arm and then stuffing a pair of boxers and a pair of sleep shorts into Booker's shower basket so that he didn't have to carry his entire bag with him as he slipped out of the room and went off to shower.]

Hey. I love you.

[ Booker didn't say it out loud often. He did stuff for his friends as a way to show he loved them. The words were a little hard to say but today Booker needed to stay it.

It was big what Nicky had done deciding to not pursue his life long dream. He had chosen him and Joe over the thing that guided his life for years. Booker needed to him to know just how much that meant.

Joe did text while Nicky was in the shower saying he was free. Booker brought up the video chat while he was sprawled in bed still and grinned to see his second boyfriend looking a little stressed out but happy. ]

He'll be back in a few minutes, I promise. He won't take long in the shower without us.

[ Booker gestured Nicky over as soon as he returned. ]

I didn't tell him yet. Get over here.

[He was still a little damp when he got back, dressed only in the pair of shorts that he'd taken with him and his shoes. He'd have to bring a pair of shower shoes next time he came if he was going to be showering in the dorm showers regularly.

Dropping his dirty clothes onto his bag to be dealt with later, Nicky continued toweling off his hair as he came over to sit on the edge of bed, careful not to block Joe's view of their sprawled boyfriend. He smiling.]

Hello, mio amore. I hope your day wasn't too stressful.

[They chatted a little about Joe's portfolio until finally Joe couldn't take the suspense and demanded to know what Booker hadn't told him yet. Nicky chuckled, but reached back to take Booker's hand.]

I've decided not to start seminary. Or go into the priesthood.

[ Take his hand. Really?

Booker hugged Nicky from behind as he made his announcement grinning hugely. Joe looked stunned for a moment and then laughed happily. He wished he was there with them to celebrate.

But he turned serious quickly, asking if Nicky was sure and that if he needed anything he just had to ask. ]

He knows that. [ Booker nuzzled against Nicky's neck. ] He knows we'd do anything for him. And we're going to help him figure out what he's going to do instead.

Besides us.

[Which, of course, got a laugh from Joe and a somehow still startled squeak from Nicky. Honestly, you'd think he'd be used to it by now. And yet, letting himself have this was still new enough that all the innuendos were all fresh again.

Including the 'So, does that mean I get to watch?' from Joe.]

You talk to him about that. I'm going to go put clothes on. Mother Mary...

[He pulled himself free carefully so that he could go hang the towel and go deal with his clothes and his bag situation.]

He's ours. I can't believe it.

[ While he was tempted to keep Nicky in his arms he let him go get dressed. Booker curled up on his side so he could see Joe and Nicky. ]

Actually, that's a thing the three of us should talk about. Nicky and I were going to fool around but we wanted to be sure that was okay without you.

[ It sucked honestly. Booker could see and hear Joe who looked so good and so happy but he couldn't touch him. Maybe because he was young and in love it hurt more than it should've.

They really should've been together to celebrate this moment. Booker figured they'd have to make up for lost time later. ]

I'd be okay with you and Nicky together if I wasn't there. Just so everyone in this room knows that.

[They would definitely make up for lost time later. But for right then Nicky returned soon enough, the Pride tank top he'd bought the year before now worn and washed enough that it made the perfect sleep shirt.

As long as he wasn't at home when he wore it.]

I think I actually really like the idea of you both together if I'm away. It means that you can ache that little bit less without me.

[Plus, watching them kiss had been one of the hottest things that Nicky had seen in his admittedly very short life.]

I love you, Joe. I can't wait to kiss you when you get here.

[ Soon Joe promises them. Only a few more weeks before he found out which art schools had accepted him. And he was okay with them being together without him.

Nothing could change how much they loved each other. Since he had permission Booker sat up, pulled Nicky in close and kissed him deeply while Joe watched. ]

I can't wait for another night like Malta. Which is why I'm going to get a cold shower now before I start thinking too much about it and let you two talk.

[ Booker blew a kiss to Joe as he got up and got his things together. Like Nicky he took off his shirt before he left for the shower but he made sure Nicky was looking at him when he did it.

But he wouldn't be long in the shower. Booker didn't want to miss the little time together they did have. ]

[Joe grinned at the sound Nicky made when Booker kissed him, but Nicky was a little too preoccupied to notice. Thankfully, he was still smiling when Booker let him go in favor of stripping off his shirt before leaving.

If he paused to listen, Booker might have heard a very small groan of frustration.

By the time that Booker had returned, however, the conversation had gone back to the topic of school. Nicky was listening with rapt attention as Joe explained the program that he wanted to get into, looking every bit as excited as Joe for the prospect. So much so in fact that as soon as the door closed, Nicky scooted over on the bed so that Booker could sit back down.]

[ Booker rubbed his hair with the towel then combed it with his fingers. He put on boxers but that was it.

He sat down next to Nicky and rested his head on his shoulder. They both looked so happy. Booker had already heard all about the program so none of this was new information to him.

It was nice to bask in the presence of the two people he loved most in the world. They both looked so happy. Really the only thing missing was Joe's physical presence. Once they had that things would be perfect. ]

[Well, Joe's presence and maybe something a little larger than a twin sized bed. He and Booker could cram into it together, but they wouldn't be able too for much longer if Booker kept up with his boxing. Already his shoulders were starting to fill out, his body starting to put muscle onto the frame it was almost finished building.

Adding Joe would be impossible.

They chatted for a while yet until Joe's alarm went off, signaling that his afternoon interview was half an hour away.]

You should go. I wish you luck, but you do not need it. You are amazing and do not forget that.

[ They'd make it work. Booker would just sleep on top of them both if that's what it took or make a pillow fort on the floor and curl up there. Booker wanted them all together. ]

And don't forget we love you.

[ Joe smiled softly and said he loved them too then he was gone. Booker closed the laptop, set it on the floor, and then curled around Nicky. ]

Fuck, it was so good to see him.

[ He sighed happily. Sure, he missed him but Joe was really trying hard to get to them. ]

It was.

[He sighed, deflating a little now that the call was over and one of his love's was once again cut off from him. He hated it. Hated it even more knowing that he'd have to leave Booker at the train station the following day.

Making a face, he wiggled back until there was enough room for him to lay down, wrapping his arms around the larger boy as he did so.]

I miss him. I will miss you. I don't want to go tomorrow...

I'll get a job around campus and send you money so you can take the train every weekend.

[ It wouldn't be a lot of time to spend together but it would be something. Booker didn't want Nicky spending all that money but it was only here they could be together without Nicky's family seeing them. ]

And depending on where Joe ends up maybe you can go live with him and I'll come visit. We'll find a way to be together.

[ He smiled encouragingly. ]

What is it you said? It's destiny? We're supposed to find each other? Well, we're supposed to find a way to live together too. It just might take time.

Destiny, yes.

[He smiled, leaning in to brush a kiss against Booker's skin before settling back. He loved that he was allowed to touch now....but also still nervous about getting it wrong.

Nicky was nothing if not determined to be fantastic at whatever he chose to do.]

I wonder what the girls are up to. Nile is in basic, but I hope Andy and Quynh are doing alright without her.

You can always text them. They'll respond when they can.

[ He ran his fingers through Nicky's hair while he breathed a soft sigh of contentment. Nicky could kiss his skin as much as he liked. ]

That's the beauty of modern technology. We can always have a conversation. It just takes place across different timezones.

[ Booker looked around for where he left his phone but it was out of easy reach and he didn't want to leave Nicky's arms. ]

At least we'll be roughly the same, just a few hours difference.

I know. I do text them. Andy and I were talking about a new baklava recipe I found just yesterday. But there is difference between seeing their words on a screen and hear their words from their lips.

[And speaking of their lips, Nicky had a brief thought and he arched a brow.]

If we are officially dating now, which we are, does that mean that Andy has to stop kissing me whenever she wants?

[Because she'd be unhappy with that. She liked making out but didn't always like taking it any further. Nicky was perfect because he loved kissing, but never pushed.]

That's between you and Andy. I know you're not sleeping with her so it doesn't bother me.

[ Again, it's the little voice in the back of Booker's head that didn't like it. But he knew to ignore the voice. It was doubt and bitterness and mental scars that came from his father's emotional abuse.

Without therapy it would ruin this beautiful thing he had found with Nicky and Joe. Probably would've ruined all of his friendships, honestly. Thank God he told his mom how bad it got one day. ]

And it's Andy, you know? She needs the most love out of all of us.

[ They all kissed Andy, after all. ]

[He smirked, shaking his head a little before nuzzling in against Booker's chest.]

No, there is no sex. In fact, I'm pretty sure that even if she wanted it, there couldn't be.

[He shrugged, still not lifting his head, clearly a little embarrassed, but still always willing to tell Booker and Joe everything.]

For as energetic as she is, I've never responded to her the same way I do to just one of your looks... I wouldn't mind, by the way. If you or Joe decided to share yourselves with Andy. Or Quynh and Nile either, for that matter. I know you love me and I know that they love me, too. I don't see why loving them means that you love me any less. After all, I love them, too.

[ He rested his chin on top of Nicky's head. ]

I don't know right now if that's what I want. I love them too but since that night in Malta all I think about is you and Joe.

[ Booker had slept with Andy before. Not Quynh because she wasn't attracted to him like that but he and Andy had fooled around before he fooled around with Joe. ]

Maybe if we're all together I'll feel it but you've got me by the libido and it's not letting go.

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