His skin was on fire. Every nerve was standing at rapt attention, begging for more. More touch, more friction, more of those silken, honey soaked words against his ear. Anything that Yusuf was willing to give him.
But he certainly didn't expect to suddenly be lifted up onto the table or for his newly announced husband to sink to his knees in front of him. Soft lips touched his legs and Nico's hips jerked up against nothing before he was able to get a hold of his control once more. His breathing came in ragged little breathes as Yusuf cleaned him up....
Then came out in a strangled bark of laughter when that bow was tied around his angry red cock. It twitched at the sensation and Nico let his head drop back in frustration, but he was able to keep himself from rocking up into it.
"Y-you spoil me, zawj. I'll wear it happily."
And he did. Unlike other lovers who wore rings of gold on their hands, Nicolo di Genova wore one of soft cloth around his cock. Not every day, of course, but after every time that he could talk his husband into taking his pleasure from his body he all but demanded it.
Time passed, their lives fell into this new level of normal for them, and things were good. Great even.
It was evening again, the sun's heat finally relaxing it's grip on Malta as Nico moved around their small kitchen, making dinner for the two of them. He hadn't worked that day, so he was home first for once, and there was a quiet ease in him that was new when Yusuf came through the door.
Yusuf was pleased with how things went between them. Of course he would always and perpetually long for more, but he once more got accustomed to what he was able to have. And their new little game that they played with one another just added a whole new level to it. It was good. Very good. Yusuf would never put Nicolo into a situation where he had to feel pressured into giving more of himself, so it was perfect.
And time went on.
Yusuf, pleased and content after a warm summer day, came home with a smile on his face and a small, cloth-wrapped gift. He didn't answer his husband at first. He just walked up so he could slide his arms around Nicolo's waist.
"Are other people coming into our home, màio? Should I be staying home and keeping guard?"
He chuckled, glancing once towards the outside world to make sure they were safely alone before leaned back into his husband's arms. He turned his head to press a line of kisses along his jaw, smiling at the course beard that tickled his lips.
"Do you not trust me to defend our home? Do you think that time without my sword in my hand has made me gentle? A mouse to be hunted, perhaps?"
He sank his teeth into the meat of Yusuf's neck, not hard enough to really hurt but enough to get a decent mouthful and give a playful little shake.
Yusuf laughed at his lover's antics and squeezed tighter around his middle. "A mouse to be hunted? I would never insult my husband like that. I know better." He returned the bite with one of his own to the base of Nicolo's jaw. Just a gentle nip. Like two cats playing with one another.
Still, there was something he had to do every day after coming home from work. Yusuf loosened his grip and turned Nicolo toward him so he could pull him into a kiss. Often, this remained the best part of his entire day.
"And how was your day, my fierce, dangerous mouse?"
Two very large, very powerful cats. With claws that could rend flesh from bone and jaws that could crush bone.
Nicolo laughed as he was turned around, reaching up to loop his arms around the other man's broad shoulders so he could return that kiss with the amount of attention that it deserved. When it ended, he was in no hurry to turn back around just yet.
"Relaxing. A day at home is a wonderful break. And your's, my brave, valiant protector?"
"What sweetness I come home to," he purred, going in to kiss Nicolo again. Really take his time to deepen it and explore his lover's mouth fully. Their first kiss or millionth, Yusuf would never get inured to it. It was too incredible a thing to ever take for granted.
"My day was productive. We had orders for new pots so I spent most of my time at the wheel." Yusuf liked days like that. Painting and pottery were his favorite since he could put his whole attention into the task and control each and every detail.
"If my hands did not heal, they would be dry as rocks right now. But lucky for you..." He slipped his hands under Nicolo's tunic just to rub the palms over his back.
He arched into his husband's body, losing himself in the kiss for as long as it lasted. He loved the feel of Yusuf's mouth on his, his hands on his body and his laughter in his ears. It was home in a way that no place had ever been before. Not even the monastery he'd fled to once he'd been old enough to do such a thing.
It made his decision that day even more concrete and he smiled as he enjoyed the feel of Yusuf's touch on his skin.
"Lucky, indeed. Rafiq must be very jealous. Now unhand me. Bambalouni does not make itself, habibi." He chuckled as he spoke, using his elbows to gently push the man back so that he could turn back to the dough on the counter.
"I stopped by the church. Father Giorgio sends his well wishes."
Yusuf let out a small sigh as he was pushed away. The wrapped package he brought was left on the table and he walked over to open it up and put out sweets he'd been given. For after dinner, of course. But at the mention of the church, his motions paused and he glanced over at Nicolo's back to get some idea of why this was being brought up.
"Next you see him, be sure to give him mine as well..."
Yusuf tried to think in his head about reasons Nicolo might have been at the church. He was no stranger there, of course. Yusuf even went with him on most Sundays and waited patiently through the services. He even liked most of them. But this wasn't Sunday and he didn't think Nicolo should have a pressing need for Confession. Maybe it was just a social visit?
He cleared his throat and went over to where their wine was to get two glasses filled. One set by Nicolo and his work and the other held in his hand but not yet sipped.
He leaned on the counter and looked at Nicolo steadily.
"Was something the matter that had you stopping by? Or were you merely going for prayer?"
They were going to have sweets galore. Dinner was one of Yusuf's favorite childhood stews and it was by the fire, bubbling away and smelling delicious. The dough on the counter was for Tunisian doughnuts.
Not that Nico would complain. Nico had spent the last few months indulging a little in his food choices and he'd discovered that he had a bit of a sweet tooth.
Nico had spent the last few months indulging in a lot of things, really.
When Yusuf joined him at the counter face so concerned, he couldn't help but leaning over to steal another kiss to ease that worry.
"I went for a conversation. A long overdue conversation, actually. Father Giorgio was very insightful and helped me quite a bit. I've decided that I can no longer be married to two, beautiful as they both may be."
If the intention was to ease his worry, Nicolo might have chosen his words a bit more carefully.
He had barely finished the familiar thrill of his lover's kiss going through him when his body went abruptly cold. From there, things around the kitchen started to look like warning signs instead of familiar trappings of home. Nicolo was making his favorite meal, he noticed. The dough his love was kneading was for a particular sweet he was fond of more than most others. The small kisses and the careful conversation... all of it seemed to wave like flags now. Signals to Yusuf that something was going to happen.
He didn't think it would be something he would like.
He exhaled in a rush and didn't speak for a moment. His mind rewound all those years ago when he'd stood before Nicolo and asked for his Vow. No one but God would be above him, his love had said. No one but God. So if the decision had to be made, there was no question of what it would be.
Yusuf drained his glass of wine and held it in a tight fist for a moment as grief rushed through him like a flood. He needed to get it through him fast because Nicolo deserved better than that from him. They'd had decades together. Decades to be happy and even time to be together as husbands would. As much as they could. They'd had their time but Nicolo had a calling. Yusuf said he would never stand in the way of that and he meant it.
He put the glass down and hunched forward, looking at the floor and nowhere else.
"I...I understand," he finally managed to say. "And I know...that it couldn't have been an easy choice for you. I understand that, Mài-" He stopped himself and corrected it: "Amore." It hurt worse than he thought it would.
"I am not going to fight you and you...don't need to cushion this blow. Just. Please..." His head bowed forward all the more. Traitorous emotion clawed at his throat and brought tears to his eyes. He had been stabbed, beaten, burned, and starved and still this hurt worse than any of that. But he would survive.
That was all he could ever do.
"Please just. Let me stay at your side, Nicolo." His voice broke on his name and he had to clear his throat to strengthen it once more. "I can work at the church...or. Or I could work the grounds. As long as I can stay with you. That is all I ask. Please..."
He knew almost as soon as he'd said it that Yusuf would take it the wrong way. He hadn't meant it to come out like that, of course, but he hadn't been thinking. At least, he hadn't been thinking about that. He'd been focused on the dough under his hands and the stew on the hearth. The wine at his elbow that Yusuf had brought him. And, of course, the joy that he expected to come forth from his husband's very being at the news.
Then he'd gone and ruined it all.
As soon as Yusuf's face fell and the man hunched forward as if Nico had physically hit him, understand lit up in those clear blue eyes and the dough was forgotten as he turned to gather the man up against his chest.
"No! No, zawj! I did not mean that as it came out!" He pressed kisses against his love's face, shaking his head a little as he cursed himself for his own stupidity.
"I renounced my vows to the church, habibi. I am yours, and yours alone, my husband."
Yusuf for a moment wanted to push Nicolo away. Not because he didn't want the comfort but because he was trying to adjust to a world where he could not claim it as his own any longer. It was good that he did not, however, as his love's words hit him like lighting and it was his arms alone that were probably keeping him from the floor.
"You...What?"
It made no sense. Nicolo always had said the church came first. He had always said that his vows were to God and then to him and he had accepted that. He had known what that meant from the moment the vows were made. But now to say that he had broken from them? Renounced them?
To think that he had caused his husband such sorrow was a painful thing and Nicolo pressed their foreheads together, willing the man to feel through his skin how much he loved him. How much he wanted to spend the rest of his life, however long that might be, with Yusuf.
"I've been thinking about it for a few weeks now. Renouncing doesn't mean I'm any less devout, just that I'd no longer hold a position in the church itself. I've barely said Mass in years, so losing that isn't as much of a fear for me as I thought it would be.
"I've struggled with it, so I didn't want to tell you until I was sure. I didn't want to get your hopes up, only to decide that I couldn't leave. But Father Giorgio and I spoke at great length today and...and I did it. I renounced my priesthood."
Bringing Yusuf's head up to look at him, he didn't even try to hide the tears in his eyes. "You thought I'd leave you? Yusuf, that is a worry you should never have." He pressed forward, putting Yusuf's ear against his chest so that the other man could hear his heartbeat.
"Do you hear that? That is the other half of your heart, Yusuf al-Kaysani, and it beats only for you."
Yusuf had no words which worked out because Nicolo had all the perfect ones. He blinked at his lover and friend as he spoke and only closed his eyes once his ear was pressed to Nicolo's chest. Half of his heart. That was half of his heart in there. In his husband.
Tears fell out of his eyes as he stayed there for a second just holding Nicolo and listening to his heart. Finally his head turned and he pressed a kiss over that strong beat. His forehead pressed to it before he finally looked up and saw tears to match his own.
"God was always first. I knew that," he explained. "You told me that very first day that I would be second and I accepted it. To know now...the sacrifice you made for me... Because of me..."
He lost his words once more. Luckily he could also be a man of action. Yusuf straightened up and cradled Nicolo's face as he pressed their lips together. One kiss bleeding into two and into three as he refused to pull away.
"I love you, Nicolo di Genova. I love you more than there is sand in the desert. More than flowers love the sun. You are everything, maío. Everything."
Yusuf straightened and took his face in his hands and Nicolo wrapped his arms around him to keep himself from trembling too hard. The sudden whiplash of emotions coursing through him was intense and a little surreal and his mind was having trouble sorting through everything to figure out exactly what he should be feeling.
In the end, he gave up trying to figure it out in favor of simply returning those kisses and burying his face in Yusuf's neck so that he could at least keep his tears quiet as he lost control of them. Not that Yusuf would judge him on it, of course, but it was a habit born of their time...and of the house that Nicolo had grown up in, not that he'd told Yusuf a whole lot about it.
"I love you, Yusuf al-Kaysani. Even if you are a stupid, stupid man who could possibly think that I could ever leave you. I love God. He knows that and I will always love Him, but you are my husband. You are my life."
He stayed like that for a good long moment before he finally pulled back a little, hurriedly wiping his eyes on his tunic before looking back at the man. He'd spotted something that was a little tragic.
Yusuf looked over at the dough on the floor and barked a laugh. "Forget the dough." He surged forward and kissed Nicolo hard, one arm a brace around his waist and the other buried in his hair. It wasn't a new position for him to have the other in but, this time, it seemed all the more intimate. Their bodies were pressed fully together and there was nothing but clothing between them. Nothing but layers. The insurmountable Vow that had cloaked Nicolo for so long was peeled away.
He truly belonged to him, now.
Yusuf trailed his lips to the salty skin of Nicolo's cheeks. He kissed away any of the remaining tears and brought them back to be destroyed between their mouths and with their tongues as he claimed both anew. The hand on Nicolo's waist went back under his shirt. He scratched his nails down his spine, right to the top of his pants. His hand stayed above the cloth and cupped his ass, giving it a slight squeeze before journeying back up.
His. It was all his. Yusuf was going to drown on the possibilities this opened.
"I should..." He broke off breathless and with pitch-black eyes. "I should go sit. And let you finish. Or else I will have you on that table and we will burn dinner."
He was used to his husband's hands on him. Used to the press of their bodies together as they kissed. So why now did those touches suddenly feel so much more like sparks through his body? Why did they now hold an entire world's worth of unexplored promise?
Had his chastity really denied them this much?
He shivered when Yusuf's hands cupped his ass, breaking their kisses so he could rest his head against his husband's shoulder once more, overwhelmed and breathing hard. The heavy promise in Yusuf's voice made him shiver and instead of pulling away, Nicolo shifted to press himself closer.
"We've done this so many times, my love, and yet there is a fire that runs through my body that I don't know what to do with. I..." He shivered again, a soft whine in the back of his throat as he finally found the willpower to pull himself away. He didn't say another word, just licked his lips and strode over to the fire to shove the stew away from the heat before he turned and left the kitchen entirely in favor of their bedroom.
Yusuf understood that fire. He smiled as he watched Nicolo remove the stew from the heat and then walk out of the room. He waited a moment, collecting himself and his patience for all he wanted to do with this man, and then followed.
Nicolo wouldn't get much further than the bedroom door before Yusuf was grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him into another kiss. No barriers. No need to stop or hold back. This body was his now. Fully his. His husband in every single way. Yusuf kissed to his ear and all but growled against the shell: "After all these years, my love, we have our wedding night."
He went immediately for the clothes. His own shirt ripped at the sleeve with the force of him pulling it off. Yusuf was more careful with Nicolo's but, with those gone, he was pulling the other back in roughly and licking into his mouth with abandon.
"I will take care of you," he promised between one kiss and the next. As he held Nicolo's hips and walked him backward toward their bed. "Trust me, my love. I will make this worth the wait."
The words sent a thrill through him and his hands shook a little as he helped Yusuf undress them. He'd undressed Yusuf before, of course, but the feeling of his husband undressing him? That was new and brilliant and he gasped a little as his body was bared to the evening heat.
"I feel like a fool. I've been naked with you before. I've felt your hands on my skin as you held me to find your pleasure. This isn't new, and yet I feel like I've never been touched by you before. It's overwhelming and I fear my idiocy will make you laugh.."
But even expressing his mind's inability to comprehend the signals his body was giving it didn't stop him from moaning into Yusuf's mouth and melting into those kisses with every ounce of himself.
"There is nothing in this world you could do that would make me laugh at you, husband. I know my first time with you felt overwhelming and I hadn't even been able to have you as I will now." He stroked a hand over his cheek and kissed him softly. "You are not the only one overwhelmed. We are in this together."
He smiled and pulled Nicolo flush again, holding him tight and warming him back up with the kisses and the searching touches. Slowly, he started working the other's pants down. Slow, steady movements to free him from that layer and to bare him. As his hand trailed around to get the cloth down and over Nicolo's growing hardness. As it passed there, Yusuf allowed him an indulgence he'd never had before.
He slipped his hand under the top and held Nicolo's cock in his hand. Heavy and turgid. He gave it a firm squeeze and released it before doing it again. A sluggish heartbeat rhythm. And then he went back to getting the pants off.
"Tell me what you desire, tonight. I will five you anything. Everything. We will go as far as you wish and no more."
He'd been naked in front of Yusuf before. He'd even been naked while his husband had his hands on him. But he'd never, in the almost 60 years of being with this man, had his hands on his cock before. It was enough to turn his knees to water and his blood to fire and he whimpered with every single small squeeze.
He kicked his pants off with far less patience than he'd ever had and as soon as he was steady on his feet again, his hands went to Yusuf's so that he could help strip the man in between kisses.
"You. I want you. I want everything you want to show me. We have nothing but time now, zawj."
Yusuf would rip the clothes off and burn them if it meant getting to Nicolo faster. He grinned at the familiar endearment and, once bared, pulled Nicolo to him and let their naked flesh meet all the way down. Their erections touched and that was a heavenly feeling. Anything right now would be a heavenly feeling, honestly; he had his husband and would actually have him. For the first time.
"You are so beautiful," he purred as he went to the bed and sat upon it. A good position to bring Nicolo into his arms and onto his lap. Pull him in for another kiss and nip against his lips with excited hunger. "Il mio marito bellissimo."
His hands trailed the naked expanse of his lover and tickled against his hips and rear. There was so much they could do. He just had to decide on the first one. And to assure himself of one last thing:
"You are sure, yes? I do not want you with regrets in the morning. I do not want to push this too far and have you upset. You mean everything to me. I can't hurt you."
The press of their bodies so tight together made him gasp, a short, happy sound. None of the self restraint that had been there before. No pulling his hips back so that he could cup himself and keep his body from achieving the release it so desperately wanted.
He followed Yusuf to their bed, settling over his lap with one knee to either side of him. Straddling him. Their cocks could touch with just the barest of movements and the sight made his pulse quicken and completely distracted him from the fingers that danced over his skin. He yelped out a startled laugh, his eyes jumping up from their laps to Yusuf's face, a disbelieving smile on his lips.
"You are the most beautiful man I've ever seen, Yusuf. Next to you, I am a pale reflection." He dipped his head to steal more of those sweet kisses, looping his arms around Yusuf's shoulders as he shifted forward those last few inches so that their cocks could touch in the space between them.
He shivered with his whole body and muffled a moan into his husband's shoulder.
"A moon may reflect the sun, but that doesn't make it any less beautiful, la mia luna. " He shifted his hips up at Nicolo's clear, non-verbal suggestion. Their cocks rubbed against one another, heavy and hard with their lust. Yusuf cupped Nicolo's ass and dragged him in even closer. Enough that he could shift and grind them both together in slow, drawn-out rolls of his hips.
He wanted to hear more of those moans.
Distantly, his mind went to supplies. They didn't make love so Yusuf never worried about any sort of slick. In the house they didn't have much. Lantern oil would be foul. Water, from experience, was not a good lubricant over time. He needed some sort of oil. Like maybe... Oh! Olive oil! They had that! All the way in the kitchen, but still...
He pulled out of the kiss and looked at Nicolo with love and focus.
"I will make you mine. I promise. We will do so all night. But for your first time, do you wish to have your release now, before we try for more?" His hand went between them and gripped both of their cocks together to give it a slow rub, up and down. "I love you here, in my arms. I can bring you pleasure first like this. Before I raid our kitchen and..." He let the free hand on Nicolo's ass drift a little, just petting to give his husband a clearer idea.
Yusuf wanted to hear his moans, and the shifting of their bodies together granted him that wish. Normally so quiet, Nicolo was a whimpering mess against his husband's shoulder, clinging to him like he might fall apart if he let go.
If Yusuf let go of him.
He shook his head, not wanting the pleasure to end, not ready for the night to be done with something so simple...and yet, his body was saying something else entirely. He was already shaking, his cock a dark, angry red and slick with pre-cum. Each upwards stroke from Yusuf's hand drew out more and Nico's hips jerked at the sensation, a cry on his lips.
"Yusuf..."
His husband's hand roamed over his ass and the assumption there, the promise...it was enough to make him rock between Yusuf's hand.
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But he certainly didn't expect to suddenly be lifted up onto the table or for his newly announced husband to sink to his knees in front of him. Soft lips touched his legs and Nico's hips jerked up against nothing before he was able to get a hold of his control once more. His breathing came in ragged little breathes as Yusuf cleaned him up....
Then came out in a strangled bark of laughter when that bow was tied around his angry red cock. It twitched at the sensation and Nico let his head drop back in frustration, but he was able to keep himself from rocking up into it.
"Y-you spoil me, zawj. I'll wear it happily."
And he did. Unlike other lovers who wore rings of gold on their hands, Nicolo di Genova wore one of soft cloth around his cock. Not every day, of course, but after every time that he could talk his husband into taking his pleasure from his body he all but demanded it.
Time passed, their lives fell into this new level of normal for them, and things were good. Great even.
It was evening again, the sun's heat finally relaxing it's grip on Malta as Nico moved around their small kitchen, making dinner for the two of them. He hadn't worked that day, so he was home first for once, and there was a quiet ease in him that was new when Yusuf came through the door.
"Is that you?"
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And time went on.
Yusuf, pleased and content after a warm summer day, came home with a smile on his face and a small, cloth-wrapped gift. He didn't answer his husband at first. He just walked up so he could slide his arms around Nicolo's waist.
"Are other people coming into our home, màio? Should I be staying home and keeping guard?"
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"Do you not trust me to defend our home? Do you think that time without my sword in my hand has made me gentle? A mouse to be hunted, perhaps?"
He sank his teeth into the meat of Yusuf's neck, not hard enough to really hurt but enough to get a decent mouthful and give a playful little shake.
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Still, there was something he had to do every day after coming home from work. Yusuf loosened his grip and turned Nicolo toward him so he could pull him into a kiss. Often, this remained the best part of his entire day.
"And how was your day, my fierce, dangerous mouse?"
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Nicolo laughed as he was turned around, reaching up to loop his arms around the other man's broad shoulders so he could return that kiss with the amount of attention that it deserved. When it ended, he was in no hurry to turn back around just yet.
"Relaxing. A day at home is a wonderful break. And your's, my brave, valiant protector?"
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"My day was productive. We had orders for new pots so I spent most of my time at the wheel." Yusuf liked days like that. Painting and pottery were his favorite since he could put his whole attention into the task and control each and every detail.
"If my hands did not heal, they would be dry as rocks right now. But lucky for you..." He slipped his hands under Nicolo's tunic just to rub the palms over his back.
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It made his decision that day even more concrete and he smiled as he enjoyed the feel of Yusuf's touch on his skin.
"Lucky, indeed. Rafiq must be very jealous. Now unhand me. Bambalouni does not make itself, habibi." He chuckled as he spoke, using his elbows to gently push the man back so that he could turn back to the dough on the counter.
"I stopped by the church. Father Giorgio sends his well wishes."
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"Next you see him, be sure to give him mine as well..."
Yusuf tried to think in his head about reasons Nicolo might have been at the church. He was no stranger there, of course. Yusuf even went with him on most Sundays and waited patiently through the services. He even liked most of them. But this wasn't Sunday and he didn't think Nicolo should have a pressing need for Confession. Maybe it was just a social visit?
He cleared his throat and went over to where their wine was to get two glasses filled. One set by Nicolo and his work and the other held in his hand but not yet sipped.
He leaned on the counter and looked at Nicolo steadily.
"Was something the matter that had you stopping by? Or were you merely going for prayer?"
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Not that Nico would complain. Nico had spent the last few months indulging a little in his food choices and he'd discovered that he had a bit of a sweet tooth.
Nico had spent the last few months indulging in a lot of things, really.
When Yusuf joined him at the counter face so concerned, he couldn't help but leaning over to steal another kiss to ease that worry.
"I went for a conversation. A long overdue conversation, actually. Father Giorgio was very insightful and helped me quite a bit. I've decided that I can no longer be married to two, beautiful as they both may be."
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He had barely finished the familiar thrill of his lover's kiss going through him when his body went abruptly cold. From there, things around the kitchen started to look like warning signs instead of familiar trappings of home. Nicolo was making his favorite meal, he noticed. The dough his love was kneading was for a particular sweet he was fond of more than most others. The small kisses and the careful conversation... all of it seemed to wave like flags now. Signals to Yusuf that something was going to happen.
He didn't think it would be something he would like.
He exhaled in a rush and didn't speak for a moment. His mind rewound all those years ago when he'd stood before Nicolo and asked for his Vow. No one but God would be above him, his love had said. No one but God. So if the decision had to be made, there was no question of what it would be.
Yusuf drained his glass of wine and held it in a tight fist for a moment as grief rushed through him like a flood. He needed to get it through him fast because Nicolo deserved better than that from him. They'd had decades together. Decades to be happy and even time to be together as husbands would. As much as they could. They'd had their time but Nicolo had a calling. Yusuf said he would never stand in the way of that and he meant it.
He put the glass down and hunched forward, looking at the floor and nowhere else.
"I...I understand," he finally managed to say. "And I know...that it couldn't have been an easy choice for you. I understand that, Mài-" He stopped himself and corrected it: "Amore." It hurt worse than he thought it would.
"I am not going to fight you and you...don't need to cushion this blow. Just. Please..." His head bowed forward all the more. Traitorous emotion clawed at his throat and brought tears to his eyes. He had been stabbed, beaten, burned, and starved and still this hurt worse than any of that. But he would survive.
That was all he could ever do.
"Please just. Let me stay at your side, Nicolo." His voice broke on his name and he had to clear his throat to strengthen it once more. "I can work at the church...or. Or I could work the grounds. As long as I can stay with you. That is all I ask. Please..."
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Then he'd gone and ruined it all.
As soon as Yusuf's face fell and the man hunched forward as if Nico had physically hit him, understand lit up in those clear blue eyes and the dough was forgotten as he turned to gather the man up against his chest.
"No! No, zawj! I did not mean that as it came out!" He pressed kisses against his love's face, shaking his head a little as he cursed himself for his own stupidity.
"I renounced my vows to the church, habibi. I am yours, and yours alone, my husband."
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"You...What?"
It made no sense. Nicolo always had said the church came first. He had always said that his vows were to God and then to him and he had accepted that. He had known what that meant from the moment the vows were made. But now to say that he had broken from them? Renounced them?
He didn't think he was breathing anymore.
"Nicolo... What did you say?"
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"I've been thinking about it for a few weeks now. Renouncing doesn't mean I'm any less devout, just that I'd no longer hold a position in the church itself. I've barely said Mass in years, so losing that isn't as much of a fear for me as I thought it would be.
"I've struggled with it, so I didn't want to tell you until I was sure. I didn't want to get your hopes up, only to decide that I couldn't leave. But Father Giorgio and I spoke at great length today and...and I did it. I renounced my priesthood."
Bringing Yusuf's head up to look at him, he didn't even try to hide the tears in his eyes. "You thought I'd leave you? Yusuf, that is a worry you should never have." He pressed forward, putting Yusuf's ear against his chest so that the other man could hear his heartbeat.
"Do you hear that? That is the other half of your heart, Yusuf al-Kaysani, and it beats only for you."
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Tears fell out of his eyes as he stayed there for a second just holding Nicolo and listening to his heart. Finally his head turned and he pressed a kiss over that strong beat. His forehead pressed to it before he finally looked up and saw tears to match his own.
"God was always first. I knew that," he explained. "You told me that very first day that I would be second and I accepted it. To know now...the sacrifice you made for me... Because of me..."
He lost his words once more. Luckily he could also be a man of action. Yusuf straightened up and cradled Nicolo's face as he pressed their lips together. One kiss bleeding into two and into three as he refused to pull away.
"I love you, Nicolo di Genova. I love you more than there is sand in the desert. More than flowers love the sun. You are everything, maío. Everything."
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In the end, he gave up trying to figure it out in favor of simply returning those kisses and burying his face in Yusuf's neck so that he could at least keep his tears quiet as he lost control of them. Not that Yusuf would judge him on it, of course, but it was a habit born of their time...and of the house that Nicolo had grown up in, not that he'd told Yusuf a whole lot about it.
"I love you, Yusuf al-Kaysani. Even if you are a stupid, stupid man who could possibly think that I could ever leave you. I love God. He knows that and I will always love Him, but you are my husband. You are my life."
He stayed like that for a good long moment before he finally pulled back a little, hurriedly wiping his eyes on his tunic before looking back at the man. He'd spotted something that was a little tragic.
"I dropped the dough."
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He truly belonged to him, now.
Yusuf trailed his lips to the salty skin of Nicolo's cheeks. He kissed away any of the remaining tears and brought them back to be destroyed between their mouths and with their tongues as he claimed both anew. The hand on Nicolo's waist went back under his shirt. He scratched his nails down his spine, right to the top of his pants. His hand stayed above the cloth and cupped his ass, giving it a slight squeeze before journeying back up.
His. It was all his. Yusuf was going to drown on the possibilities this opened.
"I should..." He broke off breathless and with pitch-black eyes. "I should go sit. And let you finish. Or else I will have you on that table and we will burn dinner."
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Had his chastity really denied them this much?
He shivered when Yusuf's hands cupped his ass, breaking their kisses so he could rest his head against his husband's shoulder once more, overwhelmed and breathing hard. The heavy promise in Yusuf's voice made him shiver and instead of pulling away, Nicolo shifted to press himself closer.
"We've done this so many times, my love, and yet there is a fire that runs through my body that I don't know what to do with. I..." He shivered again, a soft whine in the back of his throat as he finally found the willpower to pull himself away. He didn't say another word, just licked his lips and strode over to the fire to shove the stew away from the heat before he turned and left the kitchen entirely in favor of their bedroom.
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Nicolo wouldn't get much further than the bedroom door before Yusuf was grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him into another kiss. No barriers. No need to stop or hold back. This body was his now. Fully his. His husband in every single way. Yusuf kissed to his ear and all but growled against the shell: "After all these years, my love, we have our wedding night."
He went immediately for the clothes. His own shirt ripped at the sleeve with the force of him pulling it off. Yusuf was more careful with Nicolo's but, with those gone, he was pulling the other back in roughly and licking into his mouth with abandon.
"I will take care of you," he promised between one kiss and the next. As he held Nicolo's hips and walked him backward toward their bed. "Trust me, my love. I will make this worth the wait."
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The words sent a thrill through him and his hands shook a little as he helped Yusuf undress them. He'd undressed Yusuf before, of course, but the feeling of his husband undressing him? That was new and brilliant and he gasped a little as his body was bared to the evening heat.
"I feel like a fool. I've been naked with you before. I've felt your hands on my skin as you held me to find your pleasure. This isn't new, and yet I feel like I've never been touched by you before. It's overwhelming and I fear my idiocy will make you laugh.."
But even expressing his mind's inability to comprehend the signals his body was giving it didn't stop him from moaning into Yusuf's mouth and melting into those kisses with every ounce of himself.
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He smiled and pulled Nicolo flush again, holding him tight and warming him back up with the kisses and the searching touches. Slowly, he started working the other's pants down. Slow, steady movements to free him from that layer and to bare him. As his hand trailed around to get the cloth down and over Nicolo's growing hardness. As it passed there, Yusuf allowed him an indulgence he'd never had before.
He slipped his hand under the top and held Nicolo's cock in his hand. Heavy and turgid. He gave it a firm squeeze and released it before doing it again. A sluggish heartbeat rhythm. And then he went back to getting the pants off.
"Tell me what you desire, tonight. I will five you anything. Everything. We will go as far as you wish and no more."
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He kicked his pants off with far less patience than he'd ever had and as soon as he was steady on his feet again, his hands went to Yusuf's so that he could help strip the man in between kisses.
"You. I want you. I want everything you want to show me. We have nothing but time now, zawj."
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"You are so beautiful," he purred as he went to the bed and sat upon it. A good position to bring Nicolo into his arms and onto his lap. Pull him in for another kiss and nip against his lips with excited hunger. "Il mio marito bellissimo."
His hands trailed the naked expanse of his lover and tickled against his hips and rear. There was so much they could do. He just had to decide on the first one. And to assure himself of one last thing:
"You are sure, yes? I do not want you with regrets in the morning. I do not want to push this too far and have you upset. You mean everything to me. I can't hurt you."
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He followed Yusuf to their bed, settling over his lap with one knee to either side of him. Straddling him. Their cocks could touch with just the barest of movements and the sight made his pulse quicken and completely distracted him from the fingers that danced over his skin. He yelped out a startled laugh, his eyes jumping up from their laps to Yusuf's face, a disbelieving smile on his lips.
"You are the most beautiful man I've ever seen, Yusuf. Next to you, I am a pale reflection." He dipped his head to steal more of those sweet kisses, looping his arms around Yusuf's shoulders as he shifted forward those last few inches so that their cocks could touch in the space between them.
He shivered with his whole body and muffled a moan into his husband's shoulder.
"Please, Yusuf. I want to be yours..."
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He wanted to hear more of those moans.
Distantly, his mind went to supplies. They didn't make love so Yusuf never worried about any sort of slick. In the house they didn't have much. Lantern oil would be foul. Water, from experience, was not a good lubricant over time. He needed some sort of oil. Like maybe... Oh! Olive oil! They had that! All the way in the kitchen, but still...
He pulled out of the kiss and looked at Nicolo with love and focus.
"I will make you mine. I promise. We will do so all night. But for your first time, do you wish to have your release now, before we try for more?" His hand went between them and gripped both of their cocks together to give it a slow rub, up and down. "I love you here, in my arms. I can bring you pleasure first like this. Before I raid our kitchen and..." He let the free hand on Nicolo's ass drift a little, just petting to give his husband a clearer idea.
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If Yusuf let go of him.
He shook his head, not wanting the pleasure to end, not ready for the night to be done with something so simple...and yet, his body was saying something else entirely. He was already shaking, his cock a dark, angry red and slick with pre-cum. Each upwards stroke from Yusuf's hand drew out more and Nico's hips jerked at the sensation, a cry on his lips.
"Yusuf..."
His husband's hand roamed over his ass and the assumption there, the promise...it was enough to make him rock between Yusuf's hand.
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