He was quiet for a while. Long enough, in fact, that Booker could be forgiven if he thought that Nicky had fallen asleep in his lap. He hadn't, but he was thinking and that could take a while when one had so much alcohol in their system.
"I did. I told myself that I went to save my soul from the sin of lusting after another man, but the truth was that I went because I was angry. The world had not been a nice place to me. I hated myself for not being able to control my thoughts, no matter how hard I punished myself for them. I was...not a nice person. By the time the call came to march, I was nothing more than a coil of white hot anger.
"I wanted to go.
"I..am not like that often, anymore. Yusuf has tamed me, it would seem. But the idea of people out there, hurting people? Like I was hurt?" He looked up, and there was no warmth in those sea colored eyes. "I cannot stand by while they are allowed to roam the lands.
"But that doesn't mean that you have to come with us, Sebastien."
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"I did. I told myself that I went to save my soul from the sin of lusting after another man, but the truth was that I went because I was angry. The world had not been a nice place to me. I hated myself for not being able to control my thoughts, no matter how hard I punished myself for them. I was...not a nice person. By the time the call came to march, I was nothing more than a coil of white hot anger.
"I wanted to go.
"I..am not like that often, anymore. Yusuf has tamed me, it would seem. But the idea of people out there, hurting people? Like I was hurt?" He looked up, and there was no warmth in those sea colored eyes. "I cannot stand by while they are allowed to roam the lands.
"But that doesn't mean that you have to come with us, Sebastien."