"I don't even want myself." Booker let his eyes close smiling a little though it was sad. "Had nothing to do with you or Joe. It's very hard to believe you wanted me when I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror."
Ah, the self-loathing he felt sometimes. Booker didn't always hate himself. He didn't always feel the weight of guilt and grief with every breath but the feeling was more and more common. It wasn't yet a constant state and it was the presence of these people that kept it from happening.
"There are times I can enjoy life and believe me I enjoyed those nights we spent together but... then guilt hits. How dare I be happy when my son died? When I couldn't save him? And I just... " He sighed. Lord he was a disaster of a person wasn't he?
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Date: 2020-09-14 02:56 am (UTC)Ah, the self-loathing he felt sometimes. Booker didn't always hate himself. He didn't always feel the weight of guilt and grief with every breath but the feeling was more and more common. It wasn't yet a constant state and it was the presence of these people that kept it from happening.
"There are times I can enjoy life and believe me I enjoyed those nights we spent together but... then guilt hits. How dare I be happy when my son died? When I couldn't save him? And I just... " He sighed. Lord he was a disaster of a person wasn't he?